Lost and Found

LOST LEAFBLOWER
If found, please return to Edgar the maintenance guy in space #2.

LOST MIND
I lost my mind and now I need it back to get a job at Circle K. If anyone finds a brain just laying on the ground, please return it to me in space # ... uh ... uh ... whatever space I live in.

FOUND HALF A CIGARETTE
Drop by space #15 to identify and claim.

For Sale

HUKT ON FONIX GAME SET
Booklurnin never done my boy no good no how. I never learnt me to read, and I got on just fine. I ain't never listening to my ex-wife no more. She's the one what talked me into buying that readin game in the first place. Best offer takes it. Make your best offer to Buddy in space #15.

LEAFBLOWER
Hardly used, $20 or will trade for a rock to smoke. See Eddie in space #29.

Real Estate

54-FOOT SINGLEWIDE ON SHORE OF DUCKPOND
2 BR, 1 BA, empty lot next door you can rent and call it a yard. Excellent view of men in white coats dragging naked screaming tweekers out of the pond. $4,500 OBO. Stop by space #99 to take a gander at the merchandise.

26-FOOT TRAVEL TRAILER
1 BR, rear BA, double-bed-size bedshelf. Needs floor, wheels, some roof repairs. All offers considered. View and make offer in space #38.

20-ACRE EQUESTRIAN ESTATE
Decadent, hedonistic 12 BR, 12 BA ranch-style home tucked into a valley at the base of the foothills on 50 acres of wooded property. Located 14 miles from Tinbox Acres. Olympic-sized pool with cabana, tennis courts, gym, miles and miles of scenic horseback riding! Other perks include Saltillo tile, Berber carpeting, security, huge twin ovens, and a Sub-Zero refrigerator. Ideal for the rich eccentric person who is currently freaking out his family by living in a shitbag trailer park out in the middle of nowhere. Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON. Ask for JR.

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