Lost and Found

LOST HASH PIPE
Last seen in the laundry room, when I was hiding in there toking up. If found, please return to space #15.

FOUND METAL DOOHICKEY
Looks kind of like a tool that a guy would use to fix something in the house, except it's got some black sticky stuff in the end of it, and it smells weird. Found on top of the middle washing machine in the laundry room. Drop by Virginia Beadle's place in space #17 to identify and claim.

For Sale

GREAT GIFT FOR THE MAN WHO HAS (ALMOST) EVERYTHING
Almost new penis enlarger pump. Didn't work on me, just made it all purpley-red and blotchy and didn't extend the length at all. The only size increase was an irritated, bulbous head from frantically pumping that gizmo for all those hours that one day. Great white-elephant gift for a holiday party gift exchange. All offers considered. Make offer to Ernie in space #83.

Real Estate

AUCTION -- PICK UP DUMPY RUNDOWN ABANDONED TRAILERS -- CHEAP!
All sizes, shapes and colors. All sizes and colors, anyway. Let's face it -- all trailers are the same shape -- rectangular. We got dozens of these things to unload in a hurry, so we're auctioning off every last one of them on Saturday the 28th at 1:00 pm, down at the duckpond. We were going to hold the auction under the gazebo, but you already know why we can't do that now. But if you show up at the duckpond on Saturday the 28th at 1:00 in the afternoon with a fistful of cash, you could score a trailer! Between now and noon on auction day, direct your trailer-purchasing questions toward the managers by telephone. The number is on the Tinbox Acres sign at the entrance to the trailer park.

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