Lost and Found

LOST
All those leftover mushrooms I picked on Easter Sunday. I had about seven or eight pounds of mushrooms left from when I cooked spaghetti with mushroom sauce for the entire neighborhood, and now they're missing. If found, please return to Dot in space #8 before they go stale.

FOUND
Easter eggs. Not all them eggs that got hid down by the duckpond got found by the kids. Some of 'em got found by ME when I went down to the duckpond to use the catapult on my trash, since the dumpster's full. Anyways, the eggs are still pretty, but I wouldn't eat any of 'em, 'cause when I cracked one open it smelled just like that stuff you can order out the back of humor magazines that's called Industrial Strength Liquid Fart in a Bottle. Stop by Carl's trailer in space #1 to identify and claim your lost Easter eggs.

For Sale

MAGICAL MUSHROOMS, HIGH QUALITY, LARGE QUANTITY
You want 'em and I got 'em! Stop by DJ's place in space #41. Cash and carry only, no fronting.

FIXER-UPPER CORDLESS PHONE
Slightly damaged from using the receiver as a bludgeoning instrument. If you can tinker with gizmos and whatnot, this phone is a great bargain at only five bucks or best offer! Make offer to Anil Roberts in space #73.

Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

FIXER-UPPER 54-FOOT DOUBLEWIDE WITH FENCED-IN LOT/YARD
This was a gorgeous vacation mobile before it got decimated in the war with Buzzards. Perfect for Mr. Fix-It! Asking price is only $2,100 As-Is. Repairs will be necessary before it can be inhabited. Stop by space #81 to take a gander at the merchandise, and if you're interested and you've got at least $2,000 in your hand, call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.


STINKY TRAILER CLEANUP/REPAIRS/DEODORIZATION SERVICES
What's that smell? If your trailer smells like it used to belong to a big, fat, unwashed, deceased drunk, don't exhaust yourself cleaning it all by your lonesome! Trailertown meets ALL your trailer needs! We don't just sell parts and supplies, we'll also go out to your place and clean it all up and make it habitable. Let us get our hands dirty so you don't! Let us asphyxiate ourselves unconscious mixing the wrong cleaning fluids so you won't!
Call Trailertown NOW for a FREE estimate!  555-1313.

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