Lost and Found

LOST
Mariachi band member. Hispanic male, 33 years old, 5'5" tall, 155 pounds, black hair, brown eyes. Last seen wearing a red and black Mariachi suit with a matching red sombrero and carrying a guitar. Answers to name of Jose. If found, please return to Juan, Julio and/or Jaime. Reward.

FOUND
Key ring contaning monster truck and trailer keys. Found at the bottom of our largest wine vat when it was drained after that drunk dogpaddled himself to death in it, contaminating the entire vat of wine and causing a biohazard. Inquire at the winery up the road to identify and claim the keys.

For Sale

HOMEMADE GLASS METH PIPES
You want 'em and I got 'em!  Blown with a blowtorch, using the highest quality pieces of glass tubing found in a box under Clarence's trailer when we all went rummaging around under there right after he drowned in that wine vat.  All different sizes and prices.  Special orders on request.  Stop by space #21 to take a gander at the merchandise and haggle with BT over it.

Obituary

CLARENCE CLIFTON CLAMBERTON
December 7, 1941-May 17, 2003

Clarence went to Heaven on May 17, 2003 when he fell into that wine vat.
After his death, we have no idea where he went, but it don't take
no rocket scientist to figure out it was probably in a southerly direction.
Clarence is survived by Eddie in space #29, who was his neighbor,
correctional facility tankmate, and beer buddy.
Clarence didn't have no family.
Eddie's the closest thing to kin old Clarence had.
Therefore, Eddie inherits Clarence's trailer and monster truck.

Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

SNAP-TOGETHER DOME TENT - $20 OR WILL TRADE FOR A ROCK TO SMOKE
Just drop by space #29 and pick it up. I'm living large in space #62, so if you got any questions about the tent, just stop by and ask. If you need it delivered, it'll cost you an extra rock of crack, but it'll show up in a monster truck! Stop by Eddie's new place in space #62 to inquire.

GREAT BIG ROLLS OF BARBED WIRE--CHEAP!
Got problems with a lovelorn stalker? A big, rusty roll of barbed wire encircling the perimeter of your trailer space will keep him at bay! Call for a price quote! We'll beat ANYONE'S price for rusty barbed wire!
Call Trailertown NOW at 555-1313.

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