Lost and Found

LOST GARDEN GNOMES AND ELVES
Last seen in front of space #8, unless you count the photos.  I have received photos of my gnomes and elves, but the photos were apparently taken in Mexico and Australia and Canada and Germany and I think Amsterdam.  There was this one group shot of all my elves and gnomes standing on a table around a hookah at an outdoor café with people walking by, so I would assume they were in Amsterdam.  They'd HAVE to be.  If any or all of my yard gnomes and elves are found, please return to Dot in space #8.  Reward.

FOUND CERAMIC POINTY-HEADED DUDE
Stands about a foot tall, weighs about two pounds.  Plaster outside, hollow inside.  Resembles something off of 'Lord of the Rings' or 'The Neverending Story' or 'Labyrinth.'  Looks a lot like a statue of Lucky the Leprechaun's horribly disfigured second cousin.  Wearing a gardening hat, overalls, and pointy shoes.  Found standing by the mailboxes with a "Take me back to space #8-PLEASE" sign hanging around his neck.  Stop by space #21 to identify and claim.

For Sale

HUNKS AND CHUNKS OF MELTED TRAILER
You all been milling around my old trailer looking at it enough.  If you're going to be devastated when they remove the rubble from my burnt/melted trailer, then buy some of it to set in your living room.  Gaze at it all you want for as long as you want!  Priced according to freakiness, with the freakiest hunks going for the highest prices.  Just pick out whatever hunks you want, then head over to space #38 to haggle with Ma Feral.  But you better act QUICK because the HazMat guys might sneak in and remove that melted trailer TONIGHT!

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ROGELIO'S QUICK-E-MART - SPECIALS THIS MONTH:
In an effort to divert business from my competitor up the road, I will be beating any and all of Boozapalooza's advertised prices.  We honor Boozapalooza coupons and we'll give you an extra penny back to boot!  Just bring your Boozapalooza coupons and advertisements to Rogelio's to start saving TODAY!

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BOOZAPALOOZA SEPTEMBER ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE:
In effort to drive competitor down the road out of business,
below find Boozapalooza cutout ad you use at Rogelio Quick-E-Mart:

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BOOZAPALOOZA PENNY PRODUCT MONTH!
ANY ITEM IN STORE ONLY ONE CENT!
NO LIMIT.
Offer expire 9-30-03.

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Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

MANUFACTURED HOMES, ROUGHLY SAME PRICE AS DOUBLEWIDES
Turn your neighbors green with envy!  Be the first in your trailer park NOT to have to turn sideways and inch down the hall to the bathroom!  Manufactured homes have hallways wide enough to fit a whole person frontward!  Bedrooms are big enough to fit a bed AND chest of drawers in! Bathroom has a regular-sized toilet and shower, not ittybitty trailer-sized ones.   Trade in your trailer today!   
Call Trailertown NOW at 555-1313.

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