Lost and Found

LOST CAT
Devoid of all intelligence, but very, very sweet.  Small female Calico with a pink nose and white whiskers.  Last seen right before the telephone pole exploded and we all got free cable TV.  If found, please return to Dot in space #8.  My kitty would love to watch Animal Planet for free with me, especially all the bird and mouse shows.

FOUND OBSCENE THANKSGIVING TURKEY DRAWING
Looks like a turkey "flipping the bird," if you can believe that.  Found in the driveway in front of space #47.  Stop by Norm Archer's trailer in space #81 to identify and claim.

For Sale

MILES AND MILES AND MILES OF INDESTRUCTIBLE JUMP-ROPES
All different lengths available.  Collected after the telephone pole blowed up and all the jump-ropes came raining down out of the sky.  Tell Timmy Radkin in space #47 how long of a jump-rope you want, and he'll cut a piece off for you.  Priced right at a buck a foot.

BEER, CIGARETTES, EXPLOSIVES, PINATAS, PORK RINDS
AND OTHER TRAILER PARK MUST-HAVES!  All under one roof!  All 25% off!
Stagger over to Rogelio's Quick-E-Mart and mention this ad to receive your savings TODAY!   You know where to find us.

ALL THE DOPE YOU CAN STAND--CHEAP!
I'll beat anyone's prices!  Don't go to Speedy at Buzzards Trailertopia for your meth!   Speedy includes the baggie when he weighs his shit.  I weigh your shit on the scale first, THEN I put it in the baggie.  Ditto for weed, mushrooms, heroin, cocaine, etc.  Pills are priced per each, prices vary according to addictibility and stoniness.  Stop by DJ the dope dealer's place in space #41 and let's do some bid'ness!

Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

FOR SALE
Round little camper, barely sleeps one, dumpy and rundown but CHEAP!  And everything works in it, including the heater, the air conditioner, and all the plumbing!  $500 OBO.  Inquire with Anil Roberts in space #73.

WANTED TO BUY
Mobile home.  Single-wide okay, prefer double-wide.  Need another bedroom because Jesus is stinking up my couch.  That camper of mine is just too small for Him and me.  Inquire with Anil Roberts in space #73.

TRAILERS GALORE
Ready to move into your trailer space!  We even gots a trailer-moving rig, and it's sitting on our lot just waiting for YOU to call!  If we jackknife the rig and lay your trailer sideways across the highway, your move is FREE!  All kinds of trailers to choose from!
Call Trailertown NOW for a quote at 555-1313.

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