Lost and Found

LOST FIANCEE
Where, oh where has my Welcome Wagon Willy gone? Oh, where, oh where has he gone? If anyone finds Willy, please return him to Beulah in space #47.

FOUND TINBOX RESIDENTS
One male, one female. The male looks a lot like Jesus and the female is scrawny and little and has brown hair. Found beached on the other side of the duckpond, on the shore at Buzzards Trailertopia. Somebody please come to Buzzards and get these goofballs. They're driving us nuts.

For Sale

MELTED TOILET
Don't ask how it got that way, just buy it. Useless as a crapper, but would make a great sculpture or something to put out in front of your trailer! Be the envy of the whole trailer park! Priced right at just $100, or will trade for a toilet that works. Inquire with Eddie or Arliss in space #62

FOR SALE - ENTIRE CONVENIENCE STORE
CHEAPIE - CHEAPIE - CHEAPIE - CHEAPIE - CHEAPIE
Owner, operator, sole employee sick of trailerpark bullshit
You can own whole store for next to nothing!
Owner, operator, sole employee just want peace quiet, no more headache!
Everybody in town hear huge drug manufacture in Tinbox Acres.
Huge drug sell buy you whole goddamn store, with $$$ left over!
WHAT YOU NEED MONEY FOR IF YOU OWN WHOLE STORE ANYWAY?
Beer, cigarette, Cheez-Whiz, pork rind, generic liquor, ALL YOURS!
Head over to BOOZAPALOOZA with a fistful of DOPE MONEY TODAY!
Hung Phuc want to speak to you!
You find Boozapalooza about 500 yard south of Tinbox Acres, cross highway.

Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

QUINTUPLE-WIDE TRAILERPARK PALACE
Sewage flood in bathroom forces sale. Will also consider trade. Inquire with Lulu in space #61, or with Andy in space #91 if you can find him sober now that he's been staying with Maddog. All offers considered.

SEWAGE CLEANUP BLOWOUT SALE
In addition to selling trailers and trailer accessories and moving trailers with our rig, we also do trailer bioremediation! Let us retch and gag over a trailerful of decaying shit so you don't! Hire us to mix the wrong chemicals and asphyxiate ourselves unconscious so you won't! We come to YOU! Call Trailertown NOW at 555-1313.

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