Lost and Found

LOST
Ex-wife. Last seen in my bathroom. Average height, great build, brown hair, unknown eye color 'cause I never looked up that high on her. Probably behind the wheel of her pickup truck. Answers to the name Priscilla, or just Silla for short. If found, please contact Elvis in space #54. Reward.

LOST DOORWAY
I hired that idiot BT to build a add-on to my camper, and now I can't find the door. If someone can hack a door hole in the add-on, or if you're willing to just drop by BT's trailer in space #21 and bludgeon him with a large blunt object, I'll give you $20 for it. Stop by space #73 for details.

LOST GLASS TUBE WITH BULBOUS END
Has black residue burnt inside it, and a light dusting of a white powdery substance in the stem. If found, return to Eddie or Arliss in space #62.

For Sale

METH PIPE
Found on the ground outside. Looks used a whole bunch but still in good condition, no cracks or chips or nothing like that on it. Will trade for more beer. See Timmy Radkin in the driveway to see the merchandise.

====+++ FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS SHOW SPONSORED BY ROGELIO! +++====
                 (of ROGELIO'S QUICK-E-MART fame)
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That's right! Rogelio's sacrificing a shitpile of them authentic Mexican fireworks he smuggled acrossed the border, the real fun kaboomey fireworks including, but not limited to Cherry Bombs, M-80s and M-160s, huge Roman Candles that fire projectiles, Flaming Fireworks attached to long strings to swing around, and of course,
BRICKS AND BRICKS AND BRICKS OF BLACK CAT FIRECRACKERS!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FREE JULY 4TH FIREWORKS SHOW AT THE DUCKPOND, STARTING AT SUNDOWN!
Not only will we get the wildest fireworks display EVER, but anyone with a fistful of cash can blow off these huge illegal pyrotechnics themselves!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Duckpond. Fourth of July. Sunset. Be there or be square.
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Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

ENTIRE MARKET STORE - CHEAP!
Hung Phuc just want to cut losses and get fuck out of Dodge. All reasonable offer considered. If you have friend with money, steer friend to Boozapalooza. Cross highway, turn left.

SPECIAL -- HALF OFF TRAILER RELOCATION!
That's right -- we got the trailer moving rig fixed and even got most of the big dents pounded out of it! Move a doublewide for the price of a singlewide! If we drop your trailer sideways across the highway or skid it down a embankment or something like that, your move is FREE!
CALL TRAILERTOWN NOW AT 555-1313.

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