Lost and Found

LOST
Body of Anil Roberts. Last seen running into the back of a pickup truck full of fireworks and exploding. If found, please notify the County Coroner.

FOUND TRUCK TAILGATE
Looks like it came off a white pickup truck. Burnt and dented to shit. The tailgate just rained down out of the sky during the most kickass firework show EVER. Stop by Buzzards Trailertopia to identify and claim.

FOUND HALF OF A VEHICLE HOOD
Could have come from formerly white truck or something similar. Burnt, crumpled, dented and punctured. Found by Hung Phuc next to toppled-over smashed dumpster in receiving dock at Boozapalooza.

For Sale

SEVERELY MANGLED STINKY JUMPING CASTLE
Fixer-upper! Rented by a trailer park and returned all full of puke, with the inside punctured in several places. Needs TLC in the form of a hose, deodorizing detergent, and a shitpile of repair patches. Stop by the Jumping Castle rental company to view the merchandise.

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SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE-SALE
Come to Boozapalooza entire month of August for huge super sale!
Beer - Buy 2 can, get 1 can FREE!
Cigarette - Buy pack, get lighter FREE!
Grab bag of expired food product FREE with any and all purchase!
HEAD TO BOOZAPALOOZA TODAY FOR GREAT SUPER SALE!
Direction to stare: Turn left out of driveway, go 500 yard, cross highway.
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Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

SILVER BOX-STYLE TRAILER, CHEAP!
Formerly owned by a religious zealot who wasn't into the manufacture of methamphetamines, so the plumbing works good and the pipes aren't all disintegrated out from underneath of it like they are when leftover volatile organic chemicals get flushed regularly. Stop by space #73 and if you like what you see, Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.

TRAILERS -TRAILERS - TRAILERS - PARTS, ACCESSORIES AND SERVICE
Whether you need a whole trailer or you just need trailer parts, we're your one stop shop for ALL your trailer needs! Red trailers, blue trailers, old trailers, new trailers! Trailer parts and pieces! And if you need a trailer moved, we can do that too, thanks to our trailer moving rig! This month's special: Buy one trailer "gently damaged" on the lot by our rig, and get one trailer that got dropped across the highway en route FREE!
CALL TRAILERTOWN NOW AT 555-1313.

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