Lost and Found

LOST HALF A CIGARETTE
Generic 100. Fell out from behind my ear on the way back from the laundry room. If found anywhere between the laundry room and space #38, please return to Welcome Wagon Willy.

FOUND HARDHAT
That hardhat came flying into Buzzards Trailertopia at a high rate of speed at the exact same time Tnbox Acres' ex-security guy got whomped by that giant spring. It must have knocked that hardhat right off his head and shot it across the duckpond and into our trailer park. Stop by the manager's office at Buzzards to identify and claim.

For Sale

FAKE VEHICLE REGISTRATION TAGS--CHEAP!
Ward off the tow-truck driver during the monthly haulaway of uregistered vehicles! That flatbed tow-truck driver ain't a cop. He don't know a real registration tag from a decent-looking forged one. As long as the tag is the right color and the year is 05 and all that, your dead old beater will remain right there in front of your trailer where it belongs. $5 each or will trade for a pack of cigarettes. See Beulah Feral in space #68.

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Manager Hung Phuc just want to say:
HAPPY MOTHER DAY SALE AT BOOZAPALOOZA

Wild Turkey $7.50 bottle so big it have handle
Price so low, Mother can stay drunk for whole month of May!

BBQ Briquette $1.00 bag
Mother no have to slave over hot stove on her day!

Cigarette $25.00 carton
Ideal Mother Day gift, not insult like pack of cigarette

Manager Hung Phuc want to wish own mother special best greeting.
Happy Mother Day, Mother Phuc!

Direction to Boozapalooza: Veer left at top of driveway, stagger 500 yard,
stop, look, listen. Weave across highway when coast is clear. Red sign out front.
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Real Estate and Real Estate By-products

LAND--LAND--LAND
One-acre lots, will have utilities as soon as you put 'em there! Ideal mobilehome lots. Escape the trailer park, but still live in a trailer! Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.

CAMPER-MANIA!
Every load of campers made it to the lot last week, thanks to the temp agency finally sending us a experienced, sane, licensed big-rig driver. Our lot is now FULL of campers, just waiting for YOU! Priced so low, you'd hafta be stupid NOT to buy one!
Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

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