Lost and Found

LOST SUPER-JUMBO BIG DADDY LIGHTER
Four inches wide, five inches tall, looks like a Zippo on steroids. Last seen on the coffee table. If found, please return to Maddog Monson in space #91. The six-foot bong will remain un-lit until the giant lighter comes back.

FOUND DOGSHIT
Medium-sized pile, discovered right next to the porch in space #56. If your dog did it, don't let him do it again. If your dog is caught leaving another steaming pile in space #56, it's not going in the trash. The next pile of dogshit left in Harold and Madge's yard will be deposited into the offending dog owner's mailbox.

For Sale

FLAT SILVER BOX THAT SHOOTS FLAMES OUT
4" x 5" found on someone's coffee table or kitchen table or something. Has a flip-top with a wheel in it. Spin the wheel, and a flame shoots out the top. Really super cool! Will trade for a 12-pack of beer. Inquire with Timmy Feral in the driveway.

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ROGELIO'S AFTER-HOLIDAY SALE AT THE QUICK-E-MART

20% OFF EVERY ITEM IN THE STORE THROUGH THE MONTH OF JANUARY!

STOCK UP TODAY ON NON-PERISHABLES, SUCH AS:
Beer
Cigarettes
Cheap generic hooch
Ritz crackers
Cheez Whiz
Dynamite

FILL YOUR CUPBOARDS TODAY, PAY TOMORROW!
START A TAB AT ROGELIO'S AND START SHOPPING NOW!

Directions: Stumble up the driveway, veer right at the top.
Stagger 500 yards and weave across the highway.
Blue sign out front.
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Real Estate and Real Estate Byproducts

TINY TRAILERS AND MONSTROUS MOBILEHOMES
Formerly owned by residents who won bigger and better trailers and mobilehomes in the Trailerpark Olympics. Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.

LOT CLEARANCE SALE -- PRICES SLASHED
There's too many trailers on the lot! We need to clear some of them out pronto, because there's a new shipment headed our way! Trade in your trailer and save $$$$$$.
Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

Get a doublewide for a singlewide price!

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