LOST AND FOUND

LOST BOYFRIEND
About 5'10" tall and 180 pounds with dark hair, glasses, and a huge dick. Answers to the name of Willy. Last seen running off with that chick in space #50 the day I got turned loose from the nuthatch. If found, please return to Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8.

LOST LOBSTER
Red exoskeleton, claws, and a flat, segmented tail. Last seen wrapped in butcher paper in a grocery bag in the car. Might have fallen out in the driveway. If found, please return to Maudine in space #37.

FOUND POSSIBLE ROACH
One inch long, burnt on one end, sticky brownish-yellow resin at the other end. Stinks to high heaven. Could be a handrolled cigarette butt. Found in the driveway outside space #15. Stop by space #81 to identify and claim.

FOR SALE

HUGE FUCKING CRAWDAD
Has monstrous eye-stalks, killer claws, and a tail made to whomp the shit out of anything that gets behind it. Covered in red armor. Might have come from outer space. This is a best-offer item. Make offer to Timmy Feral in the driveway.

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EASTER BUNNY COMING TO BOOZAPALOOZA

BRING KID AND GET PICTURE SITTING ON LAP!

WHILE KID SIT IN BUNNY LAP, YOU SHOP! MANY ITEM ON SALE!



Direction: Stagger out driveway, careen right at highway.
Stumble 500 yard. Weave across highway.
Red sign out front.
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Real Estate and Real Estate Byproducts

DUSTY LITTLE WEED-COVERED LOT--CHEAP!
Out in the middle of nowhere, no utilities, but at least it's not in a trailer park. Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.

NEED CASH? WE BUY TRAILERS!
Any condition. Mention this ad and we'll give you an extra $50 for your trailer.
Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

We gave $750 for the shitheap shown above.
Imagine how much we'll give for your trailer!

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