LOST AND FOUND

LOST 1997 HONDA PRELUDE
Brown with tan interior and severely shot shocks, struts and suspension. Tires worn to the threads. Registration tags expired in January '05. If found, please return to Beulah Feral in space #68.

LOST GLASS METH PIPE
Clear, about 3" long, with white crystalline residue inside and black scorch marks outside. Last seen in my right front pants pocket. If found, return to Darrell Feral in space #19.

FOUND GLASS KNICK-KNACK
Three inches long, clear, looks like a possible incense burner. Has a bulb at the end with a stem sticking out. Powder-coated inside, burnt on the outside. Stinks to high heaven. Found next to the soda machine. Stop by space #81 to identify and claim.

FOR SALE

SMASHED-UP HONDA REMAINS
Used for demolition-derby practice. Some parts actually usable, the rest can be sold as scrap metal. This is a best-offer item. Make offer to Timmy Feral in the driveway.

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HUGE SPRINGTIME SALE AT BOOZAPALOOZA

WE AD-MATCH ALL COMPETITOR,
PLUS TAKE ADDITIONAL PENNY OFF SALE PRICE, WHOLE MONTH OF MAY!

OWNER/MANAGER HUNG PHUC PRICE-SLASHING APRIL MAY FOOL!



Direction: Stagger out driveway, careen right at highway.
Stumble 500 yard. Weave across highway.
Red sign out front.
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Rogelio's Springtime Pennypalooza at the Quick-E-Mart
Any item in the store, only one penny! No limit.

Clip this ad and bring it to Boozapalooza, and get all your cigarettes, booze, Cheez-Whiz, Ritz Crackers, pickled eggs, and other trailerpark necessities for FREE!

Rogelio makes a fool of Hung Phuc yet again. Will that guy NEVER learn?

Directions: Stumble out the driveway, careen right at the highway.
Stumble 500 yards and weave across the highway. Red sign out front.
If you'd rather pay a penny for your shit instead of getting it for free, careen left
at the driveway and look for the blue sign out front. The choice is yours.
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Real Estate and Real Estate Byproducts

TERMITE-RAVAGED LITTLE HOVEL ON A SHITTY LOT--CHEAP!
Out in the middle of nowhere, ratty and dilapidated, but it has utilities.
Call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON. Here's a picture of it:

NEED CASH? WE NEED A NEW TRAILER-MOVING RIG DRIVER!
Our last one took off to Las Vegas and our current driver is a fucking lunatic. If you're licensed and sane, please Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

Our current rig driver playing Chicken with a pickup truck
on the wrong side of the highway.

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