LOST AND FOUND

LOST FIRESUIT
Yellow, with burn marks, soot, and other battlescars all over it from back inna day when I was a fireman. Also missing a matching yellow firehat and goggles. If found, please return to Welcome Wagon Willy in space #38.

LOST BONG
About a foot tall, made from multicolored plastic. Has a sticker with a smiling Mohawk-haired skull with word 'Grafix' under it affixed to the front. Has a four-inch stem topped with about a five-hitter bowl. If you find it, you better return it to Maddog in space #91.

FOUND UGLY-ASS RAINSUIT
Constructed of some filthy yellow unidentifiable fabric. Has matching filthy yellow rainhat. The entire outfit reeks like a brewery. Also found nearby and emitting a similar smell is a pair of old swimming goggles. Stop by space #81 to identify and claim.

FOR SALE

RAINBOW-COLORED GRAFIX BONG
Has kickass skull with a mohawk sticker about 4" above the bowl. Will trade for beer. See Timmy Feral in the driveway if interested.

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DOG DAY SALE AT BOOZAPALOOZA

BUY ONE ITEM, GET SECOND ITEM HALF OFF

ALWAYS HALF OFF ANY EXPIRED ITEM IN STORE!
NO HAVE TO BUY ONE ITEM FULL PRICE FIRST!

ALSO, GET FREE LIGHTER WITH EACH CARTON OF CIGARETTE!

OWNER/MANAGER HUNG PHUC GO CRAZY FROM SUMMER HEAT!

Direction: Stagger out driveway, careen right at highway.
Stumble 500 yard. Weave across highway.
Red sign out front.

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Obituaries

Bud Dorque
December 16, 1960 - July 4, 2006
Bud got killed when he put out a lit cigarette in a bowl of
explosive powder his kid Lonnie had just dug out of a bunch of fireworks.
***

Dixie Dorque
June 16, 1962 - July 4, 2006
Dixie got killed while sitting in her rocking chair
wearing a bathrobe and knitting when the family trailer exploded.
***

Ronnie Dorque
March 3, 1994 - July 4, 2006
Ronnie got killed playing on the livingroom floor of the trailer with a pile of
fireworks when his dad snuffed a cigarette in a bowl of explosive powder.
***

Lonnie Dorque
March 3, 1994 - July 4, 2006
Lonnie got killed while digging the powder out of a bunch of Piccolo Petes
at the kitchen table when his dad extinguished a lit cigarette in
this huge bowl of powder he'd just dug out of a bunch of fireworks.
***

Real Estate and Real Estate Byproducts

NEW ARRIVAL TO THE TRAILER PARK --CHEAP!
Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, works in this trailer.
If you've got a fistful of cash and you're interested,
call JR Johnson Realty, 1-800-JOHNSON.

NEW ARRIVALS ON THE LOT
Pick up severely damaged trailers for severely cheap prices!
Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

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