LOST AND FOUND

LOST SNACK BAR - REWARD
Blue in color, with fold-out awnings and countertop. Has SNACK BAR in big white letters along the top. Looks like a cross between an RV and a roach coach. Equipped with a hotdog steamer, racks, napkins, and refrigerator. If found, please return to Duane Uhlig at Grayer Pastures Retirement Mobilehome Estates. No questions asked.

LOST METH PIPE
Clear glass, with stem sticking out of a bulb, and with yellowish-brownish-black resin on the inside and scorch marks on the outside. If found, please return to Davey in space #43.

FOUND BLOWN GLASS SCULPTURE
Located in the driveway between spaces #43 and #41. Looks like it may be some sort of unfinished work. Stinks to high heaven and looks like it may have been in a fire. Stop by space #17 to identify and claim.

FOR SALE

SNACKS - BEVERAGES - FIREWORKS - LIGHTERS - ETC.
All this available and you ain't even got to leave the property! Forget getting busted for drunk in public every time you head out out of the trailer park to Boozapalooza or Rogelio's. Hungry? I got food -- hot food, and side orders to go with it, like nachos and pretzels and chips. Thirsty? I got beer. Kids thirsty? I got sodas. Stop by space #43 and see what everyone is talking about!

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HOLIDAY SPECIALS AT ROGELIO'S MARKET

Illegal Mexican Fireworks -- Entire stock half off!
What better way to celebrate all the holidays and to cap it all off by ringing in the New Year with a bang? Rogelio's got ALL the fireworks you want -- BIG ONES that are stuffed full of black powder, and have been banned in a dozen countries, all the way down to ittybitty sparklers for the kiddies. Get 'em while they're hot!

SleepNOW Ultra-Mega-Powerful 12-Hour Knockout Sleep Tabs, $4.00/box of 30. That's a whole month's supply for only four bucks! Warning: These things came from China.

Off-brand sodas and soft drinks (orange drink, grape drink, etc.) in three-liter bottles, two for a buck. Bottled in the USA.

Directions: Stagger up the driveway and careen right at highway. Stumble 500 yards. Weave across the highway. Blue sign out front.

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Real Estate and Real Estate Byproducts

DOUBLEWIDE BEAUTY -- READY TO GO!
All you need to do is hire a trailer-moving rig, and this gorgeous doublewide could be sitting in your trailer space tonight! Get rid of that old RV and move on up to a real residence. Features real curtains and not just tinfoil over the windows or sheets hung from curtain rods and a big 50-gallon water heater. The inside is in decent shape, too.
Call JR Johnson Realty for details, 1-800-JOHNSON.

DAMAGED TRAILER BLOWOUT
LOTS AND LOTS OF DAMAGED TRAILERS - SUPER CHEAP!
Our licensed rig driver quit, and we had to hire a new driver in a hurry. The new guy is a little heavy on the brakes, and he sent many trailers skidding down the highway because of it. Our lot is brimming over with these trailers sustaining various levels of damage. But our loss is your gain! Every single one of the trailers that knucklehead dropped off the rig have been marked down to below-rock-bottom prices! Come on in and check out our wide selection of damaged inventory, or
Call Trailertown NOW 555-1313.

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