by Anil Roberts, proselytizing goofball in space #73

The end of the world is nigh. The end of the world of trailer parks, anyways. God's always had a history of punishing trailer parks with twisters and earthquakes and locusts and whatnot, all the way back to Adam and Eve. Like since the beginning of time.

Now God has reverted to His old ways of 'fire and brimstone' when dealing with trailer parks. You might laugh and call me an idiot, but I have proof.

You all are familiar with the bar at Buzzards. But you may not be familiar with the bar's history. Did you know that Buzzards wasn't always a trailer park?

Back in the 1800s, a church sat where Buzzards Trailertopia is today. That old church sat smack dab where the bar is today. In fact, the bar IS the old church. Didn't any of you ever wonder why the bar has a steeple on top?

Well, I guess God has had it with a bunch of trailer park hicks using His house as a bar. So God went and launched some brimstone at Buzzards bar. I seen it. I was right there when it all went down.

I was over at Buzzards Trailertopia right then, going door-to-door and spreading God's word. All of a sudden, this huge flaming tire just fell out of the sky and made a ringer onto the steeple up top of Buzzards bar.

The firemen had to use a cherry-picker to pull that flaming tire off the steeple. By the time the job was done, the bar was so damaged they had to move the whole operation into the shower facility until the bar gets repaired. So you all can still drink at Buzzards, but you can't shower there no more.

Not only did God revert to using fire and brimstone, he put an added twist on it just for trailer park residents. Fire and brimtires.

We'd better watch our asses and clean up our acts and all that. If God launched a brimtire on Buzzards for turning His house into a bar, imagine what He's got cooked up for ALL OF US here at Tinbox Acres. God knows all the shit trailer park residents get into.

Remember this advice about God. He knows when you've been sleeping, He knows when you're awake, He knows when you've been bad and good, SO BE GOOD, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

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