by Maddog Monson at Buzzards Trailertopia

Why on Earth is Buzzards in a war with Tinbox Acres? This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of in my life, and believe me, I've heard some stupid shit.

No, wait, this trailer park war is the second stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. I saw Buzzards residents dousing rocks in gas and setting them on fire and launching them with a huge slingshot. What idiots. They didn't even know the flames would blow out long before they hit their intended target.

I'd have to say the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life is what all happened to Darrell Feral. Now, I must admit, I'm probably a big part of what all happened to Darrell, but I'm not ALL of it. Not by a long shot.

That little idiot had it made in low-security Juvie. He got three hots and a cot, so to speak. That's a helluva lot more than he ever got over there in space #54, believe me. I seen it.   Anyway, he takes it upon himself to escape from this place where he's got it made, and heads for Tinbox Acres. The fool sets up camp in an ex-trailer space full of blowed-up meth lab rubble. He sticks a mop under a tarp and calls it home.

Right before Darrell got hauled into Juvie, he'd screwed me over real bad. He took my money and left me dry when I sent him after dope, then he boinked my girlfriend. He had a pounding coming to him, as I'm sure you all agree.

I heard he was squatting in Eddie's old spot, so I came by to see this with my own eyes. There he was, pretty as you please, sitting there in that pup tent lighting a meth pipe. That asshole was firing his pipe with MY old torch lighter. I just had to drag his skinny little screaming ass out of that pup tent and bludgeon some sense into him.

The kicker to this whole thing is what happened right before Darrell and I got hauled in. It was worth getting hauled in just to see it all happen up close.

The cops showed up with Darrell's ex-dog, Humpy, 'cause Humpy's been trained as a dope sniffer. Humpy seen his old buddy Darrell and was all slobbers and waggy tail and everything. Humpy even recognized Darrell through all them cuts and scratches and pump-knots I gave him.

The cops seen Humpy all over Darrell, and they remembered where they got him in the first place. The cops obtained Humpy back when the entire Feral family got arrested and hauled away. There was a fax in one of the cruisers with Darrell's face on it, and it was all over with for the little idiot.

Darrell ended up spending his 24 hours of freedom by starving, sleeping outside in the January weather in a puptent, then getting dragged out of that puptent to be pummeled, then being busted and hauled away to nightmare-Juvie-from-Hell thanks to his ex-dog.

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