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I can't believe out of all the trailers in Tinbox Acres, Maddog Monson picked mine to hide in when the cops came after him. When the cops swarmed Maddog's trailer, he not only ran to mine, but he showed up with about half his body weight in primo hydroponic pot slung over his shoulder. I was scared the cops would follow that distinctive skunk-scented trail directly to the hysterical dipshit beating all over my trailer and hollering, "DJ! Open up! Deej, it looks like a body and it fuckin' STINKS! Quick, lemme in before the cops get here! Ah, shit! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJ!" I'd no sooner unlatched the door when Maddog tumbled in with that thing. He was right. It DID look like a body wrapped in a blanket, and boy did it STINK. Maddog ran into the kitchen and unrolled the blanket, covering my kitchen table and floor with about 85 pounds of the dankest lime-green seedless kronik I ever seen in my life. Fortunately for us, the cops don't pay much attention to folks banging on trailers and yelling. If you live in a trailer park, you're expected to beat on a trailer and scream your fool head off every now and again. It's a lot better to beat on your trailer than to beat on your wife and kids, and the cops appreciate that. Besides, the cops had bigger fish to fry that night. That fish was Maddog Monson, who allegedly had a huge hydroponic pot-growing operation going on across the driveway in space #90. But Maddog didn't have no pot plants growing in #90. He gave that trailer to Ramone a couple months back. Maddog then turned that shitty plywood expando on his own trailer into a grow room instead. While the cops busied themselves tossing Ramone's trailer, Maddog was right across the driveway, yanking out his pot plants, scattering leaves and grow-lights and whatnot all over the trailer on his way out the door. By the time the cops busted into the right trailer, me and Maddog was already hunkered down hiding at my place with all the lights out and the TV off. In Maddog's absence from space #91 and with the presence of all the pot leaves and toppled hydroponic equipment scattered all over the trailer, Maddog's roommate Andy got woke up and hauled out of the back bedroom and cuffed and caged and driven to the PD, where the cops photographed, fingerprinted, and booked him for possession, cultivation, and being under the influence. Now, I don't know what Andy's piss test looked like, but I can tell you he tested positive not only for pot, but also meth, Vicodin, Oxycontin, Mexican tarball heroin, cocaine, and prescription speed, which he crunched up and smoked. And he did all of it in the three days prior to his arrest. I know; I sold it all to him. Plus, Andy had drank a whole bottle of Listerine and fell on a speedbump in the driveway and chipped a tooth earlier that day. I seen it. Why do you think he was passed out in the back of the trailer? Listerine does some crazy shit when you drink it. Matter of fact, Andy STILL don't remember how he got locked up, or what happened to all of Maddog's pot plants, or where his front tooth went. It ain't MY job to tell him.
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