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I know what you're all thinking. It musta been DJ that sold Willy the Viagra that made him go ballistic and cause that big ruckus in the trailer park. Well, I'm here to tell ya, it wasn't me. Just because I sell pills for a living, and just because Viagra comes in a little blue pill, it don't mean that every pill in the whole trailer park came from me. No-siree. Some of them pills come from Speedy over at Buzzards Trailertopia, some come from online pharmacies, and some even come from a real doctor. And Elvis in space #54 always has a stockpile of Quaaludes and whatnot. Of course, we all know that most of the pharmaceuticals in Tinbox Acres come from my trailer, but that's beside the point. What's important is that I had nothing to do with Willy's Viagra overdose and subsequent freakout. What I figure happened is that Willy must have got that Viagra from one of the older dudes here in the trailer park, like Norm in space #83 or Harold in space #56. Maybe Elvis gots some Viagra in his pill collection, and let Willy have some of it. Hell, for all I know, Willy coulda gone to the doctor and got a real, live, legal prescription for Viagra. It coulda come from anywhere. All I know is, I'd headed out to the Arco gas station out by the freeway to meet up with my connection and restock the trailer so you all don't run outta dope during the holiday season. When I returned with the trunk filled to the tippity-top with various mind-altering substances, I nearly shit myself when I seen all them cop cars in the driveway, 'cause my trunk was too full to shut all the way, and the only thing securing all that dope so it wouldn't blow out the back was a couple of bungee cords from the dollar store. Plus, I had to put some of the runover into the back seat and cover it with a blanket. I figured the cops was gonna stop me and search my car for sure, and I thought maybe they even had a warrant already. But no. The parade of emergency vehicles had come to Tinbox Acres to fetch Willy, who had gone batshit after apparently eating a fistful of little blue Viagra pills. I don't know why a trailerpark pervert like Willy would need Viagra anyways. Don't that guy run around in a constant state of tumescence? I ain't a psychiatrist. I only got maybe a fifth-grade education, at best, just like everyone else here in the trailer park. I ain't qualified to determine who should and should not be eating Viagra. Maybe he needed it for Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8. Dot and Willy hooked back up during their mutual stint in the nuthatch last month, so maybe it takes either a bag over Dot's head with eyeholes cut out, or a fistful of Viagra for Willy to get the job done. I ain't gonna waste no more time defending myself about not being Willy's Viagra connection, nor am I gonna waste time wondering what the fuck would possess Willy to eat all them Viagra pills in the first place. I got me a trunkload of dope to unload.
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