ENTIRE FERAL FAMILY FINALLY PINCHED
Family brawl broadcast into karaoke machine

The Feral family in space # 54 got into yet another knock-down drag-out brawl with each other last month. They was clanging and banging around a lot more than usual this time, what with all the trash cans being thrown and the brawl migrating from the living room to the kitchen then spilling outside, and finally being broadcast into the karaoke machine.

The fight started Saturday afternoon. The family had been drinking since they all woke up around 11:00 that morning. By the afternoon, turmoil was evident as arguments simmered.

At around dark, the fight boiled over into a screaming match, followed by pounding of holes in the walls and apelike breaking of furniture. Then the family brawl spilled outside, where trash cans got throwed around.

The Feral family then hollered their way back into the house in a punching and scratching and kicking and biting Feral ball. That's when we started hearing the brawl broadcast over the Ferals' karaoke machine.

That Feral ruckus was keeping Harold and Madge next door in space #56 awake. We all know they've had to deal with hundreds of late-night Feral fights. So none of us blames 'em for what they done to the Ferals.

Harold got a truck innertube and cut it in half, then in half again. He sewed a pouch in between the two halfs. He mounted that thing in his kitchen window, the one that faces the Ferals' place.

Madge had saved some old rotted fruits and melons and whatnot, and she was gonna let the skunks and raccoons eat it. Instead, she and Harold used that kitchen-window slingshot to launch all that rotted fruit at the Feral family's trailer. It was the karaoke fight what drove Harold and Madge over the edge. That, and Harold gots a penchant for projectiles anyways.

The cops showed up to investigate and subsequently haul away the Ferals. Harold and Madge wound up with a ticket for littering, 'cause they launched all that rotten fruit and melons and whatnot at that trailer. They're lucky they didn't get slapped with obstruction of justice. The cops had to wade through all that slick, smashed rotten fruit to get to the Ferals' front door.

Pop Feral got charged with felony domestic battery, along with a few misdemeanors, including drunk-in-public and noise pollution.

Ma Feral got it for domestic violence, drunk-in-public, and noise pollution. Both the Feral boys was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance with intent to sell, felony under the influence, and drunk-in-public.

In addition, both of the Ferals' vehicles was impounded for expired tags. It should be noted that both Pop and Ma Feral had a whole bunch of active and confirmed arrest warrants, mostly from failure-to-appears and the various felonies they was supposed to appear for. We don't expect to see the Ferals or their vehicles for a while.

HOME