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DOT'S SPAGHETTI SAUCE CAUSES TRAILERPARK TRIP-O-RAMA
Gets Hauled to Nuthatch Right in Front of Her Grandkids

 

If there ain't a award for doing the coolest thing in the trailer park all year, there should be. That award ought to go to Dot in space #8 for what she done on Easter Sunday, even though she didn't know what she was doing.

On Saturday, the day before Easter, Dot had baked a big old batch of peanut butter cookies. She traded Edgar the maintenance guy a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for a half-day's worth of yard work. When Edgar finished his cookies and milk, Dot asked him to help her plant a garden in a freshly-cleared patch of dirt.

Clarence is still locked up for leading all them cops on a high-speed pursuit into the duckpond a couple months ago and can't drive his truck in that jail cell. So Edgar went over to Clarence's trailer and hot-wired the monster truck. Edgar said Clarence's truck needed to get drove so the battery don't die or leak acid, anyways.

Edgar drove Dot to the dairy farm up the road. They bought enough cowshit to fill the bed of Clarence's monster truck. The dairy guys lightly hosed down the cowshit and covered it with a tarp. Then they secured it with bungee cords so's it wouldn't all blow out the bed of the truck on the way back to the trailer park. When Edgar and Dot returned to Tinbox Acres with the truckload of cowshit, Edgar spread it under the trees in Dot's yard so she could plant a herb garden.

On Easter morning, all that moist, cool, spread-out cowshit was carpeted in psilocybin mushrooms. Psilocybin is the scientific term for magical. Anyways, Dot gets up earlier than the rest of us, 'cause she don't drink and therefore don't got to sleep off no hangovers.

Dot headed outside to start working on her garden at about 6:00 am. DJ in space #41 was just pulling into the trailer park. DJ seen all them psilocybin mushrooms in Dot's yard. He told her they's the best kind of mushrooms on the planet 'cause they gots all these purpley little gills underneath. Then he begged her for some of them.  

Dot said sure, so DJ ran back to his trailer and come back with one of them big Ziploc freezer bags and he commenced to filling it with Dot's purpley-gilled mushrooms.

Dot's known for her cooking.  Hell, she got her garden done for a plateful of cookies and a glass of milk.  So she goes out there and picks a mountain of mushrooms, hauls them back into the house, and makes spaghetti and mushroom sauce for the entire neighborhood.

It turned out them were good mushrooms, all right.  DJ wasn't kidding about that.  But he wasn't talking about the flavor or the texture.  He was talking about how hard a person could trip on them.  And cooking don't lessen the effect, neither.  When we ate Dot's spaghetti and mushroom sauce, we all went hogwild and laughed our asses off and some of us even got hauled away by the cops and men in white coats on Easter Sunday.

Dot didn't know them mushrooms was the magical kind. She ate a whole big plateful of her own magical mushroom spaghetti sauce. To make a long story short, Dot ended up being yanked out of a tree by a fireman.

Fatty Daddy ate a big old heap of Dot's spaghetti and mushroom sauce, and he was acting goofier than Dot. Fatty Daddy didn't get hauled out of the trailer park by the cops because he was wearing a big, fuzzy Easter Bunny suit.

Dot's grandkids came over to spend Easter with her. The cops didn't want them grandkids to see the Easter Bunny get cuffed and shoved into the back of a cruiser and hauled away. So Fatty Daddy got to goof off in a bunny suit with impunity.

Instead of seeing the Easter Bunny get busted, them kids got to watch their grandma trip out, laugh her ass off, cover herself in spaghetti sauce, and end up being hauled out of a tree and off to the County Nuthatch in the back of a ambulance.

Fatty Daddy was still in that Easter Bunny suit after Dot went bye-bye. To comfort Dot's grandkids, he hopped over to them as they were peering in the back of the ambulance at their grandma. He assured them kids that Dot ain't permanently batshit, that it's only temporary.

She probably just ate the wrong kind of Easter egg, like a painted cuckoo-bird egg or something.   Then he told the kids their grandma would be fine just as soon as she came down off that cuckoo Easter egg.

 


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