TINBOX ACRES GETS NEW GIZMO
Fatty Daddy Gets Whomped By It

Tinbox Acres has scored a brand-new toy down by the duckpond, thanks to the creativity and boredom of Skip Bodell and Norm Archer. That's what them two kept shooing us away from at the duckpond all last month.

Skip and Norm used a store-bought Johnny-Jump Up as a prototype and scaled it up so that a grown-up could fit in it and jump around. Instead of them little springs and bungee cord thingies, Skip used garage-door springs and truck innertubes. Norm fashioned the seat part out of ropes and canvas and leather straps.

So far, just about all of us has tried out the new Johnny Jump Up with impunity. Even Dot and Maudine and Old Lady Beadle took it for a spin. The new gizmo is perfectly safe and sane, unless you're too fat or too skinny for it.  

Fatty Daddy decided to give it a try. First of all, he looked hilarious pulling up that caftan of his so Skip could strap him into the seat part of it. After all of us quit laughing, Fatty Daddy tried a few jumps. His body weight pulled the tree branch down too far, and he couldn't get off the ground real good. Jingo couldn't quit laughing.

Fatty Daddy oofed and grunted and struggled out of that strappy little seat on the Johnny Jump Up. He glared at Jingo and said, "Fine. You think that's so funny? YOU try it. I DARE you."  Knowing that there wasn't no way no how his little lightweight midgety body could EVER bend the branch down like that, Jingo said, "Sure!"

Fatty Daddy then strapped Jingo into the Johnny Jump Up. Jingo's short little legs didn't quite reach the ground. Plus, his head is disproportionately large for his tiny body. So when Fatty Daddy let go, the first thing Jingo did was to flip upside-down and hang there.

When Fatty Daddy could finally see through all the laughing tears, he grabbed Jingo by the feet and stretched the innertubes and springs until Jingo's feet could touch the ground. Then he let go. Jingo rocketed up-up-up in the air, paused in midair for just a second, then descended to the ground. He came down hard enough so his feet reached the ground and he could push himself way back up in the air. After a dozen leaps or so, Jingo was bouncing really good.

That's when the seat straps done give out. They was getting all worn out from all of us jumping on that thing all day. On Jingo's last jump, he bent his knees coming down and straightened them out hard and fast on the way up, propelling hisself clear out of that contraption. We all stood there and watched Jingo disappear into the sky.

Fatty Daddy ran and grabbed the truck innertubes that was dangling from the tree branch. He stretched the innertubes to the ground and placed a foot in each one. Then he started bouncing. Without all them ropes and straps and whatnot pulling that gizmo so close to the ground, Fatty Daddy was able to jump around real good. Plus, he didn't have to pull his caftan up to get in it this time. Fatty Daddy wanted to get up high enough to see where Jingo flew off to. That's when we all learned about ballast.

It seems like the heavier something is, the farther it'll fly once it's airborne. It's got something to do with inertia and momentum or something.

When Fatty Daddy bounced in the air high enough, his body weight gave him enough ballast to fly completely up and over the top of the tree and land with a WHAP! in the dirt on the other side. Then the tree branch broke off and the innertubes pulled it right at Fatty Daddy. It Evel-Knieveled up his entire body, including both pinky fingers. Now you all know why Fatty Daddy is covered head-to-toe in all them bandages and casts and whatnot.

Nobody's seen hide nor hair of Jingo since the Johnny Jump Up incident. Jingo's probably orbiting the Earth right now. Either that, or the little feller got propelled straight into the sun and was incinerated.

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