STREETSWEEPER CHASED OUT OF THE TRAILER PARK
Driver vows never to return anyways

We all almost went to war again last month, only not with another trailer park like Buzzards Trailertopia. Nope, the party we nearly waged war on was the streetsweeper guy.

"What streetsweeper guy?" those of you what was unconscious when it happened might ask.

We all know St. Patrick's Day (March 17) is the drinkingest holiday of them all. Because of that, March 18 is the hungoverest day of them all. Last month, the new streetsweeper guy picked March 18 to deflower the dirt down our driveway. And he done it in the loudest vehicle ever invented.

We all got victimized by the ZZZZSWISH-SWISH-SWISHZZZZ of what basically amounts to a huge noisy machine on wheels. Remember, this happened on the hungoverest day on the planet. Furthermore, that huge racketmaking gizmo got even louder when it runned over our gigantic speedbumps. Then it would creep to the next speedbump at a hangover-aggravatingly slow pace.

That growling metal monster on wheels managed to make it halfway down the driveway, victimizing hundreds of hungover trailerpark residents with swishing and grinding and squealing noises, before it got brought to a abrupt stop and wound up blocking the driveway when it got abandoned facing in a diagonal direction.

The real victim was Pop Feral in space #68 . Pop's a huge, hairy, hulking motherfucker, and when he's first dragged out of a hangover, he ain't pretty with them droopy bloodshot eyes, and hangover stench emitting from his breath and person.

Pop Feral said he was happily unconscious in Hangover Land when all of a sudden the most godawful SZZZZZZZZ WWWWWWW SHHHHHHHH racket dragged his ass awake. He stumbled out into the driveway in a pair of ratty skivvies, with his hair sticking out every whichaways, holding a Louisville Slugger in his hand. The streetsweeper guy seen Pop and Pop seen the streetsweeper guy, and both of 'em went, "Aaaaaaaagh!" only for entirely different reasons.

Pop made a run at the streetsweeper, swinging that bat. The streetsweeper guy bailed off the side and ran towards the duckpond. He must not know it dead-ends there. Pop let the streetsweeper guy off easy. Yes, the streetsweeper guy got the piss beat out of him by a bat-wielding hungover Sasquatch, but the little feller was lucky to leave alive.

Matter of fact, after bludgeoning the streetsweeper guy senseless, Pop Feral started coming out of that hungover daze and started feeling sorry for that poor, beat-up little dude who was just trying to do his job. So Pop draped a big fat hairy tattooed arm over his shoulders and kinda half-helped, half-steered him back to his streetsweeper, which had been abandoned parked all askew in the driveway in front of Pop Feral's trailer.

The little streetsweeper dude climbed back onto his streetsweeper and fired it up. He flipped one of them tight little U-ies like only streetsweepers and Battlebots can, and started heading out on the other side of the driveway. That's when he runned over that half-ounce baggie of meth that BT dropped out of his right front pants pocket stumbling back from the Irish bar the night before.

When that whole half-ozer of meth hit them whirling streetsweeper brooms, a huge white powdery cloud went POOF right into the streetsweeper dude's face. Last we seen of the little feller, he was racing out the driveway all crazy and wild-eyed, and we ain't seen hide nor hair of him since.

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