BOYS' NIGHT OUT ENDS IN MAYHEM
Dive-bar poontang blamed

Welcome Wagon Willy and new residents Dick, Jack and Holmes wound up locking horns with the cops last month. It all started out innocently enough, with Willy stopping by space #45 to welcome the new neighbors into the trailer park.

Willy hit it off so well with the three new residents that one thing led to another, and finally Willy, Dick and Holmes headed to the dive bar up the highway. Jack wanted to join the pack, but he gots one of them electronic ankle bracelets on. If Jack leaves the camper, that anklet goes beep-beep-beep and the cops show up and ask Jack what the fuck he's doing outside that camper. So Jack settled in for a night of satellite TV while Willy, Dick and Holmes headed out for a night of debauchery at the dive bar.

The boys had a great time at the bar, throwing darts, shooting pool, and setting off the lights and sirens over the bar by making a purchase from the condom machine in the men's room. Just when it seemed the fun-limit was reached, in walked four bar skanks, and them skanks spotted Willy, Dick and Holmes right away.

Only problem was, there was four skanks and only three guys. Holmes' face brightened as the solution to the mathematical dilemma came to him. A lightbulb went on over Holmes' head as he blurted, "Hey! We could bring one home for Jack!"

Holmes had just inadvertently solved their next problem, which was where to take the skanks.   They couldn't rightly go boning 'em in the bar, right there in front of all the other alkies, so they had to find more private quarters. Besides, the bar was closing.

There was two campers between them already -- Willy's 5th-wheel and Dick, Jack and Holmes' RV.   And Willy gots a car, so that only left one couple out in the cold. As it turns out, that's just where one of them skanks, Jane, didn't mind being. But then again, that's what got the cops called on the party in the first place.

The guys decided to iron out the lodging situation once everyone got back to the trailer park. It ended up ironing out to Willy and Wanda in Willy's camper; Holmes and Lurleen in Willy's car; Jack and Arleen in Dick, Jack and Holmes' camper; and Dick and Jane in the duckpond.

Everybody was having a jolly-good time, rocking campers and cars and making waves everywhere. Around 4:30 am Virginia Beadle got up to take that yappy little rat-dog of hers for a walk so it'd take a dump. The duckpond was sloshing everywhere and waves was actually breaking on the shore. What was going on in the duckpond made Cricket the dog leap and yap hysterically, and caused Miz Beadle to turn tail and run back to her trailer in space #17 and call the cops.

It would have just been another routine trailerpark arrest for indecent exposure had the suspects not been named Dick and Jane, and had they not been arrested for fucking in the duckpond.  The jokes still haven't stopped. Surely you can imagine. "See Dick and Jane play in the pond. What fun for Dick and Jane! See the cop car. See the cop. See Dick and Jane in cuffs. Dick and Jane get to ride in a cop car! Bye bye Dick and Jane." What do you expect? Of us trailerpark residents who actually can read, that's about the level we read at, anyways.

During the whole ruckus involving cop lights twinkling through the trailer park in the dark, Jack's electronic ankle bracelet went beep-beep-beep when he stepped outside to see what was going on. The cops was right there anyway, so they stopped when they seen Jack standing outside the camper in his skivvies and wifebeater T-shirt, sporting a bedhead hairdo.

After finding out that Jack was simply checking out the haps, the cops let him go back into his camper. However, the cops did haul Arleen out of the camper and whisked her away on outstanding bench warrants for various drug violations. Ditto for Arleen's sister Lurleen, who was still in Willy's car with Holmes.

Wanda also had warrants, but she was holed up in Willy's camper the whole time and remained un-busted. Good thing the new residents was done with their skanks when then cops hauled them away. That turned out to be even better than if they'd been allowed to stay anyways, 'cause each and every one of them was a hardcore coyote date.

After being questioned and released, Willy didn't mind going back to the coyote date holed up in his camper. He hadn't scored any poontang since 400-pound Beulah. Ruthless toothless Wanda looks like a bikini model compared to that.

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