WELCOME WAGON WILLY WOOS WIDOW-WOMAN
Crazy Cat Lady and Trailerpark Pervert Boink Each Other's Lights Out

Willy scores some recently-widowed poontang with his idea of love offerings
-- a raunchy greeting card and a box of Russell Stover candies.

It looks like we won't have to worry about Welcome Wagon Willy skulking around and peeping into our trailers at night no more. Willy's nights are otherwise occupied these days.

Dot the crazy cat lady lost her husband Tod a month or so ago, when Tod tried to make homemade moonshine in a water-distilling unit. The whole trailer blowed up and Tod got fried to a crisp. Dot was inconsolable. Then Willy showed up to her doorstep on bended knee, bearing flowers and candy. Dot melted on the spot, and them two lovebirds has been a item ever since.

Dot's a real sucker for the old knight-in-shining-armor romantic bullshit, and Willy's got chivalry running out of his ass. He ain't embarrassed to show his love for Dot in public, neither. Willy even carried Dot down the driveway from her trailer in space #8, all the way down to his trailer in space #38, and through the threshold while we all watched. Then he gingerly set her on the couch, shut the door, and had wild monkey sex with her on the couch. We all heared it.

All that wild monkey sex didn't just stay confined to Willy's trailer, no-siree. Willy and Dot's relations has metastasized not only into Dot's trailer, but also into the duckpond on more than one occasion. And little Timmy Feral in space #68 seen 'em boinking on one of the washing machines in the laundry room with a unbalanced load in the machine. If he hadn't shot digital photos of the laundry-room incident, we'd have all told Timmy he's full of shit and Pop Feral woulda whipped his ass for lying.

No one actually seen what happened to it, but we all got our suspicions it was the happy couple what dented the new soda machine up by the laundry room by bumping uglies up against it. Not only is the soda machine all dinged and dented, but the wall behind the machine got beat to shit, with great big chunks of stucco knocked out of the wall and crushed on the floor.

Virginia Beadle had a eyeball cataclysm and had to be rushed to the hospital in the white ambulance after catching Willy and Dot when she took her little dog Cricket to the duckpond so he could take a dump. Old lady Beadle fell on the ground and flopped and twitched, and Jingo the circus midget seen the whole thing and called 911.

That little rat-dog of Miz Beadle's stood there and yapped until the ambulance showed up and hauled his mistress to the hospital.

An hour after the ambulance lights went twinkling up the driveway and out onto the highway, and we all went back into our trailers, Willy and Dot emerged from the duckpond, got dressed, and walked hand-in-hand back to Willy's trailer.

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