WELCOME WAGON WILLY SCORES WITH THAT CHICK IN SPACE #50
Devastated Dot didn't see it coming

Happy couple Willy and Belinda
get comfy on the couch

Willy and Dot back before Belinda
showed up in the trailer park

Unless you slept through the last month, you heard about Willy dumping Dot for Belinda. It's been the buzz of the trailer park for weeks. Before the grapevine mangles the shit out of it, here's the whole scoop.

Contrary to what's been churned out the rumor mill, Willy did not sell his soul to Satan, nor did he boink a old witch in exchange for casting a spell to make Belinda fall in love with him. So you all can just quit repeating that shit all over the trailer park.

The simple fact of the matter is, Belinda can't resist funny guys, no matter how fucked up they might be otherwise. When she laughs hard enough, her sense of discretion shuts off entirely. What this means is Willy made Belinda laugh herself senseless, then took advantage of her reduced mental capacity.

We all know Willy's a creepy pervert. We all seen him peeping into one trailer or another at one time or another. Everybody knows Willy ain't never been a fireman, despite his owning a sooty old firesuit, firehat and goggles, which he runs outside in anytime one of us lights a barbecue. In addition to all of us, most of the county sheriffs have seen and heard Willy up on the roof of his trailer, threatening to jump. Several neighbors have active restraining orders against him right now. We all know Willy's a fucking nutcase.

Belinda's a decent-looking chick. She's smart and ain't on welfare. Belinda gainfully employs herself selling shit for other people on Ebay, and makes good money at it. She has a nice personality and fits in with all the other ladies in the trailer park. Belinda seems to have a lot going for her, so it slammed us all sideways to see her running around with a complete fuckwad like Willy.

Remember the Trailer Park Olympics? Willy's performance in the Olympics made Belinda laugh so hard, not only did her sense of discretion shut off entirely, but she pissed herself and had to go home and change. Willy asked if he could help her change, and since she didn't have no discretion at the time, Belinda said yes. The rest is history.

The only reason Belinda hasn't dumped Willy when her senses came back is, her senses ain't come back yet. Willy keeps doing stupid-ass shit and Belinda keeps laughing. What Belinda thinks is Willy being funny is actually Willy being a sociopathic liar.

Willy had his bread buttered on both sides for a while there. He'd sneak over to Belinda's trailer anytime Dot wasn't looking. But then Dot looked.

Despite being in a committed relationship with Dot and all of her cats, Willy just dumped her the second Dot confronted him about Belinda. Dot went completely batshit and threw on Willy's firesuit, firehat and goggles, then climbed up onto the roof of Willy's trailer and threatened to jump. We all seen it.

A firetruck, the red ambulance, and two cop cars showed up. Two hours later, Dot was finally talked down with a bullhorn by the cops and whisked away to the nuthatch in the red ambulance. She ain't been turned loose yet.

One of these days, Willy is going to slip up and be unfunny and Belinda will stop laughing long enough to get her senses back. When that happens, the rumor mill will really have something to buzz about.

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