TRAILER IN SPACE #24 EXPLODES
Bud, Dixie, Ronnie and Lonnie Dorque killed in fiery mishap

 
Little firebugs Ronnie and Lonnie Dorque went and blowed
their trailer, their parents, and their selfs to Kingdom Come

The Dorque family sure went out with a bang, didn't they?

If you didn't hear the trailer in space #24 explode on the Fourth of July, you're deaf as a post. It got us all out of bed and into the driveway in ratty pajamas, undergarments and bathrobes, sporting bedhead hairdos first thing in the morning.

We all know Ronnie Dorque was a pyromaniac, and his twin brother Lonnie loved to blow shit up. Remember the Hindenburgs Lonnie made for the Fourth of July a couple years back? He got hold of a tank of compressed hydrogen, then went and filled a bunch of Hefty trash bags with it and tied 'em off with gasoline-soaked twine. The ka-BOOOOOM from them Hindenburgs got us all out in the driveway in the middle of the night.

Then there was the time little Ronnie burned down both the gazebo by the duckpond and the Feral family's doghouse on the same day. The burning of the doghouse got Ronnie's dad Bud covered in bruises and pump-knots courtesy of Pop Feral for raising that little pyro in the first place, and for turning him loose in the trailer park.

Most trailerpark discussions about the Dorque family's trailer exploding on the Fourth of July have included mention of such things as the fireworks show getting upstaged before it even got started, a shitpile of chlorine getting dumped into the gene pool, or both.

Lonnie and Ronnie woke up early on the Fourth to marvel at all the fireworks Bud and Dixie had scored at the Red Devil stand the day before. The boys had the fireworks laid out on the living-room rug, all except the Piccolo Petes. Ronnie was slobbering over the pyro-booty spread before him on the floor while Lonnie sat at the kitchen table with a boxcutter, a cereal bowl, and all the Piccolo Petes.

Lonnie slit each Piccolo Pete up the side, and emptied the powder into the cereal bowl. He'd amassed quite a pile when Bud walked in with a GPC cigarette smoked to the filter. Bud seen that cereal bowl full of powder, and not knowing what it was, put his cigarette butt out in it.

Now, in case you don't already know, firework powder is some flammable shit. A cereal bowlful of firework powder can blow up a whole trailer and everyone inside it. Older brother Donnie ought to consider his self lucky for not being in the trailer when it blew.

If Donnie Dorque hadn't moved into that ittybitty camper he lives in now, the entire Dorque bloodline would have got wiped out.

HOME