NEW RESIDENT MOVES INTO TINBOX ACRES,
BRINGS SNACK BAR WITH HIM
Sale items include alcoholic beverages,fireworks and cigarettes

We got a new neighbor here in the trailer park, and his name is Davey Uhlig. Davey owns a real business -- a snack bar -- and he towed that business all the way to Tinbox Acres behind a little white RV with red stripes down the sides.

The snack bar serves up the usual fare of hotdogs, chips, pretzels, candy, sodas, cigarettes and beer. We hear tell DJ the dope dealer in space #41 might be asking Davey if he'd like to make a commission by moving some of his shit out of the snack bar, too.

Davey has boxes and boxes and boxes of fireworks that he could set on the counter and sell. So we won't even need to go stumbling out of the trailer park and across the highway drunk to Rogelio's Quick-E-Mart for illegal Mexican fireworks no more. We now only have to stagger as far as space #43.

Our new neighbor sure is friendly. He went and personally knocked on every door in the trailer park as soon as he got settled in. Elvis says Davey even hung out with him there in space #54 for the entire afternoon one day, and posed for all them hilarious photos that Elvis recently emailed to everyone here in the trailer park.

Lulu in space #61 calls Davey generous. She says Davey gave her kid a hot dog, a pretzel, and a bunch of Fritos one day for nothing. Just gave the kid something to eat and didn't charge a dime.

Andy and Maddog have avoided who-knows-how-many DUIs and drunk-in-publics in just the past month alone, by patronizing Davey's snack bar right here in the trailer park instead of heading out in public shitfaced. Certainly others here in the trailer park have avoided alcohol-related arrests the same way.

Be sure to stop by space #43 and say howdy to Davey, and have a snack and a smoke while you're there.

HOME