TIMMY FERAL HOME FROM THE JUVIE FARM
Former alcoholic minor comes back sober, gainfully employed

Timmy's One Man Trashcan Metal Band funded this here home office and pickup truck
for Pop Feral, and a little silver nonbeater car for his ma Beulah

Nobody ever expected Timmy Feral to make it big, no-siree. But that's exactly what the little shit went and did -- and he did it while at the juvie farm.

What landed Timmy at the juvie farm in the first place was his theft of all that beer out of Davey's snack bar trailer in space #43. Timmy drank about a case of beer then got on his bike and weaved his way out of the trailer park and up the highway, where the cops stopped him. This was probably Timmy's dozenth arrest for being a minor under the influence, so he got a little more than a slap on the wrist this time -- he got sent to a farm and made to do real, actual backbreaking work.

During his stay at the farm, Timmy found a bunch of metal trashcans outside the barracks and decided to fart around with them. While smashing the trashcan lids together and against the cans, Timmy noticed how much it sounded like heavy metal music. He lined up the trash cans and lids and started experimenting with the sounds, and hollering the word 'RAW' at the top of his lungs while doing so.

One of the other kids in the juvie camp had smuggled in a digital voice recorder because his ma didn't believe what a couple of the adults in charge at the juvie farm was saying and doing to him. Instead of using it to convince his ma, the kid used it to record Timmy, and the subsequent recording hit the charts as Timmy's One Man Trashcan Metal Band, with the hit single being the song "Raw."

Those of us who listen to heavy metal music will recognize Timmy's hit. It's the one with music that sounds like this: crash-crash smash-smash-smash buh-buh-buh BOOM-BOOM buh-buh BOOM-BOOM-BOOM buh BOOM buh BOOM buh BOOM CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH-CRASH and then Timmy's voice yelling, "RAAAAAAAW! RAAAAAAAW!" Then it repeats about six or eight times, then instead of two long RAAAAAAWs, Timmy goes, "RAW-RAW-RAW, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!" twice, then there's more smashing, crashing, and buh-BOOMing, then the song suddenly ends with a loud BAM. Certainly you've heard it.

Anyways, Timmy used some of the money from his hit heavy metal song to buy his dad Pop Feral and ma Beulah vehicles, and he even got a RV for Pop Feral to use as a home office. Timmy furnished the RV with a desk, a computer, wireless internet access, and a fridge full of beer. Pop Feral's in there all the time now, but since he ain't got a job 'cause he's on state mental disability, he ain't quite figured out how to use a office yet. So far, all he's really spent any time on at all is sitting at his computer watching girls farting on FartFantasy.net, a real fart-huffer's paradise, according to Pop Feral.

Timmy's ma Beulah likely ain't aware of what Pop's up to on the computer, especially since Pop put a He Man Woman Haters Club sign on the door to the RV. Beulah's usually out driving around anyway in that new silver car Timmy bought her, and shopping and restaurant-hopping on Timmy's dime.

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