Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8 offers her recipe for a paperbag party for your cat(s). When you go to the grocery store and the checker asks, "Paper or plastic?" you should answer, "Paper." Take the paper bags home. As you remove all the groceries from one bag, squish some catnip and sprinkle it in the empty bag. Lay the bag on the living room floor.  Repeat with all the bags. Sit on the couch. The cat(s) will do the rest.

Carl Bailey in space #1 tells us if there's a obstacle in your path, then blow it to smithereens with dynamite. But then again, old Carl did escape from a looney bin. He gets stinking drunk and then he rat-races around on that electric scooter of his, all hammered out of his gourd. Take this guy seriously at your own risk.

Arliss Feral says if you spot police cruisers entering the trailer park and you got contraband on you, then just duck down and hide in the bushes behind space #41. If the cops go there, they ain't looking for YOU. The cops got bigger fish than YOU to fry if they show up at DJ the dope dealer's place. The cops ain't gonna be looking to make a controlled buy from anyone hunkered down trembling in the bushes. They go right up to DJ's front door for that. So you and your contraband should be perfectly safe in the bushes behind space #41.

Willy in space #38 shares his secret for only scoring with gorgeous women. All you need to do is fill up on cheap booze first. Moonshine works best. Even Godzilla looks drop-dead gorgeous when you got enough Moonshine under your belt.

Maddog Monson in space #91 found out the hard way if your hugely knocked-up girlfriend puts on sexy lingerie for you, no matter how funny she looks, DON'T LAUGH. If you do, you'll wind up with a big ugly shiner like Maddog's got right now.

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