Beulah Radkin in space #47 says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. She's been hauling huge pots of chicken soup and homemade bread and shit like that over to Willy's trailer 'cause he's laid up on his couch. Pop Feral stomped his ass flat, and now he can't even get to the bathroom and back without help. Rumor has it Willy got pounded so bad, he can't even reach around and wipe his own ass. He ain't going nowhere, and Beulah says she will continue her efforts to get into Willy's heart via his stomach.

Ma Feral offers this advice to Beulah. The way to a man's heart might be through his stomach, but that's taking the long way. Ma Feral says she knows a shortcut to Willy's heart. Here are the directions in detail. Start out at Willy's stomach. Head south down the happy-trail, over his bellybutton, keep going, and you'll run right into it.

Jingo the incredible flying circus midget shares this tip from NASA. If you're spinning at the right speed and angle of momentum and whatnot, you won't burn up when you reenter Earth's atmosphere. Whatever the fuck that means.

Fatty Daddy shares a fun practical joke to pull on that team of NASA scientists and whatnot that's been picking up the satellite wreckage. All you need is a huge fishbowl, some white spray paint, some masking tape, a white jogging suit, and a set of bunny-eared TV antennas. Stick the fishbowl over your head and stick a strip of masking tape over where you see out. Take the fishbowl offa your head and then paint it white (the fishbowl -- not your head). Let dry. Peel the masking tape offa the front and use it to tape the antennas on top. Put the fishbowl on top of your head, with the unpainted strip in front so's you can see out. Sneak down to the duckpond and squat down in the weeds. When one of them astrophysicist fellers gets close to you, slowly rise up out of the weeds. Say, "Take me to your leader," before he hightails it out the trailer park.

Rudy Bonaparte in space #19 says if you really want to scare the shit out of a astrophysicist, try jumping up outta the weeds in a gorilla suit. Beat on your chest and holler your head off like this: OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO AAAH-AAAH-AAAH AAAH-AAAAH! Since the curriculum for earning a Ph.D. in astrophysics does NOT include a course in gorilla studies, a gorilla leaping up outta the weeds is gonna scare a astrophysicist just as good as it'd scare one of us.

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