Jack in the Box from space #45 tells us if the state installs an electronic ankle bracelet on you, it ain't a good idea to attract the cops by smoking meth with your two idiot roommates outside the camper you all live in. And if you do attract the cops like that, it ain't a good idea to bolt. All that does is get you runned down and tackled and shackled and hauled away anyway. Plus, it just adds a bunch more charges against you and besides, nobody here in Tinbox Acres has ever got away with it.

Arliss Feral over in space #62 wishes to inform everyone that turning 21 don't exempt you from having the living catpiss beat out of you by your pop when he shows up to your trailer when you're cooking meth in it. This is true even if it's your own trailer and your pop didn't even pitch in a dime for it. And it all goes double if your pop looks like a humongous abominable snowman with a attitude.

Eddie Whisman in space #62 says it ain't a good idea to laugh if you see a Bigfoot beast stomping your roommate flat right there in the living room of the trailer. Not only does it create a lot of bad blood between you and your roomie, it might piss off the aforementioned Bigfoot beast enough to make him turn on you, which ain't fun and which is even less fun than that if you're a skinny little dude like Eddie.

Elvis Presley in space #54 warns us not to take nothing his ex-wife says seriously about him, and especially if she starts ranting about some Ultimate Fighting match involving a alligator, a bobcat, a monkey, and a pitbull. The monkey lost that fight, by the way. But the last time she was in the trailer park, Elvis' ex done locked everyone out of the bathroom when we was all piss-drunk on beer, which proves she's missing a few of her marbles. Plus, she claims to have seen Tarzan the Apeman standing on the steps outside Elvis' trailer, grunting and beating on the aluminum siding. This woman's nuts, pure and simple.

HOME