Little Timmy Radkin in space #68 tells us you CAN SO get hammered on non-alcoholic beer. All you have to do is leave it out at room temperature for a couple of days first.

Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee in space #1 says a real easy, hands-off way to clean all the dust and smudgy fingerprints and whatnot offa your electrical appliances is to just set all   your appliances out in front of the trailer and shoot 'em all at once with the garden hose. Then let the sun dry 'em off.

Maudine in space #37 shares this secret that women all over the world have known since the second humans evolved in the first place. It's not the size of the ship. It's not the motion of the ocean. It's the size of the ship AND the motion of the ocean. Now all you fellers know the truth about that.

DJ the dope dealer in space #41 says a humidor will not only make your cheap Bugler tobacco somewhat bearable, it also keeps your stash of pot all nice and fresh and skunky smelling.

Ronnie Dorque the little firebug in space #24 says gasoline removes most stains from clothing. And if it doesn't remove a stain, then just flick your Bic because a garment all stained up that bad should be burnt anyways.

Maddog Monson in space #91 warns us all to stay the fuck out of Pearline and Earline's flowerbed in space #40 or risk getting the shit whomped out of us.

Jingo the retired circus midget in space #99 says Maddog needs to chill out about that flowerbed already.

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