Fatty Daddy tells us how to build a extended-use Halloween decoration. All you need is a Santa suit, a whole dead turkey with feathers and feet and all, a machete, a department-store mannequin, some knitting yarn, a bunch of pillows, some red paint, a pair of black boots, and a rubber Santa mask. Put the Santa suit and boots and mask on the mannequin and fill it out with pillows.  Tie the dead turkey's feet to the mannequin's hand with the yarn, hanging the turkey upside-down. Dip the machete in red paint and tie into the mannequin's other hand. Voila! You've got a decoration that's morbid enough for Halloween, contains a turkey for Thanksgiving, and the Santa mannequin will carry you through Christmas.

Little Timmy Radkin in space #68 offers instructions for building a nifty instant catapult. All you need is a board and a speedbump. Place the board crossways over the speedbump. Set your ammo on one end of the board and jump on the other end. Timmy says soft tomatoes and peaches fly the farthest, but rotted honeydew melons are the most fun to launch.

Virginia Beadle in space #17 says whoever keeps littering her yard and roof with smashed, rotted fruit had better quit it.

Darrell Feral warns us to never ever ever ask BT how to build ANYTHING. Ever. The guy's great with a blowtorch, but if you go following his instructions for building something out of plywood, you could end up with a ass-whooping in lieu of monetary compensation.

Lonnie Dorque in space #24 shares his recipe for livening up an otherwise boring evening. All you need is a air compressor that plugs into a vehicle's cigarette lighter, and a monster truck with the keys stashed under the mat. Pull out the keys and start the truck. Plug the compressor into the cigarette lighter. Lock the nozzle onto the valve stem so the tire starts filling, and go home, take a bath, and go to bed. About four hours past bedtime, you will be woken up by a humongous, earth-shattering ka-BLAM outside. You will get to run outside with everyone else and see all your neighbors standing around in ratty skivvies with bedhead hairdos. Try it! It works!

Eddie in space #62 says if a tire on your monster truck spontaneously explodes in the middle of the night and dumps the truck over on its side, the situation ain't hopeless. All you got to do is call a tow truck and they'll come over and stand the monster truck back up on its remaining three tires. The tow-truck driver will even put a bunch of cinderblocks under the blowed-up tire if you got some laying around the yard.

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