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Thanks to half the trailerpark population being employed on the construction site next door, this month features construction-related helpful hints.

 

 

Maddog in space #91 says you shouldn't go using levers and knobs and whatnot to pull yourself up into the cab of a piece of mobile equipment, 'cause you could knock the machine out of gear or into it, or you could start it up or shut it down unexpectedly. Pull yourself into the cab using the fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror instead. That's what they're there for.

 

 

Andy warns us all to learn a lesson from his mistake, and don't go digging around inside and underneath anything you ain't been formally trained to dig around inside and underneath of. Dangers lurk where you least expect them. Andy got attacked and dang-near torn to bits by a huge spring that leaped right out at him while he was under a bulldozer next door.

 

 

The licensed contractors at the construction site next door want to warn Andy never to touch another one of their machines again. The contractors say what that giant spring done to Andy is baby-aspirin compared to what they've got cooked up for him next time he takes a piece of earthmoving equipment for a joyride.

 

 

Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee in space #1 would like to inform everyone that the sawdust all over the construction site next door can be rolled up and smoked just like cheap tobacco or pot. Carl says smoking sawdust tastes like shit, but it tastes better than that crappy old Bugler tobacco we're always using in our hand-rolled cigarettes, and it burns better, too.

 

 

Little Timmy Feral in space #68 tells us those metal slugs laying around the construction site next door from when the electric boxes got installed work in the soda machine just like real coins. The big slugs work like quarters, the medium-sized ones work like nickels, and the little ones work like dimes.

 

 

Marshal and Maudine in space #37 share their idea of a fun way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon when you're stuck in the trailer anyways. Do it wheelbarrow-style. That's right. Strip all your clothes off. Start out in the living room, run the old lady up the hall of your trailer and into the back bedroom, where you can turn her around and run her right back down the hall and out into the living room. Then just turn around and do it all over again and again until either your feet or her hands give out.

 

 


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