Little Timmy Radkin in space #68 shares something useful he learned while looking at non-porno sites on the Internet. It has something to do with this thing called a fulcrum. All you need is a board and a rock. The rock is the fulcrum. Lay the board on the rock, really far to one end of the board. If you want to lift something heavy, slide the board under the heavy object with the rock right near it and push down on the other end. If you want to launch something really far, set it on the board far away from the rock-fulcrum and jump on the end near the rock. Try it! It works!

Harold and Madge in space #58 says if that brat Timmy knows what's good for him, he'll quit launching rocks and tires and whatnot onto their porch.

Pastor Pasqual in space #26 would like to inform everyone that if you or your kid gets tossed out of church, you can always show up to his trailer on Sunday. He's a real live rehab reverend, and he'd be happy to preach at your for hours on end.

New residents Floyd Doyle and Uncle Howie in space #51 share their bong-cleaning tips. All you need to do is soak your nasty old resin-encrusted bong in rubbing alcohol for a few hours and ream out the bowl-hole and stem with a pipe cleaner. Alcohol dissolves resin, but won't melt your plastic bongs like nail polish remover.

Lulu in space #61 tells how she got her toddler Damian to quit reaching into his diaper and smearing shit on the walls. All you got to do is run a piece of duct tape around the waistband of the kid's diaper. It hurts like a motherfucker to pull that duct tape off, but it slides off easily if you put baby oil on it first. Duct tape is also useful for keeping your kid from flushing household items down the toilet by duct-taping the lid down after each use.

Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8 tells us her secret for getting all her cats to pose together for a photograph. All you got to do is lay a blanket or sheet or some clothing on the kitchen floor where the cats ain't used to it being. Within minutes, every cat in the house will be laying on it, and you can just point the camera and shoot.

Ronnie and Lonnie Dorque in space #24 would like to inform everyone that a can of hairspray and a lighter are a lot of fun and aren't as dangerous as everyone says.

Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee in space #1 warns us all NOT to answer the door if them rotten little Dorque twins come a-knocking. This goes double if one of them has a can of hairspray and the other one is holding a lighter. Carl opened the door for them, and it don't look like his eyebrows are ever going to grow in right again.

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