Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8 offers her hint for de-cluttering the trailer. All you need is a leafblower and a shitpile of black heavy-duty garbage bags. Send your old man to the store for beer and cigarettes, While he's gone, open the back door and fasten an opened garbage bag to it with duct tape. Then leafblow the shit out of the trailer toward the back door. When one garbage bag gets full, unfasten it from the door, tie it off, and attach another garbage bag. Repeat until the inside of your trailer ain't cluttered no more, or until your old man shows back up and asks you what the fuck you're doing with that leafblower.

Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee in space #1 offers this disaster-prevention tip. Always take a jar of hot water with you any time you leave your trailer in the winter months. That way, if you get your tongue stuck to the side of your trailer or someone else's, you can just dump the hot water on there and free yourself before anyone sees and/or photographs you. It's much easier and less embarrassing than standing there screaming with a lisp while all the neighbors stop by for a look-see.

Pop Feral would like to share his permanent tattoo-removal technique, which has had much success in Pop's phase-I clinical trials on stepson Timmy. If your kid shows up with some stupid-looking tattoo, offer the kid some Yukon Jack to celebrate his first tattoo. When the kid blacks out, get the belt sander and grind the offending illustration off his body. When he wakes up and wonders where his tattoo went and why he's got beef-jerky skin, tell him he fell off his bike in the driveway while he was hammered.

Welcome Wagon Willy in space #38 offers his recipe for Popcorn Surprise. All you need is a date, transportation, a pocketknife, and 25 bucks. Take your date to the local theatre complex and purchase two tickets to a movie. On the way in, stop at the snack bar and buy a bucket of popcorn. Make a quick trip into the men's room and use the pocketknife to cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket, then keep your hand under the bucket to keep the popcorn from falling out on the way into the theatre. When the lights go out, unzip your pants and situate the popcorn bucket in your lap. Reach into the popcorn, dig all the way down until you can grab your dick, and pull it through the hole in the bottom of the bucket. Then offer your date some popcorn.

Maddog Monson in space #91 says you should always roll a French tickler on inside out. That way, it's ribbed on the INSIDE for YOUR pleasure.

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