Lulu in space #61 shares her secret for keeping a cake from sticking to the bottom of the pan. All you got to do is lay a couple strips of bacon in the bottom of the pan before pouring in the cake batter. Be sure to pull the bacon strips off the bottom of the cake before frosting it.

Beulah Feral in space #68 says newspaper absorbs body odors. If you want to keep yourself all nice and good-smelly, be sure to shove wads of newspaper anywhere you stink, such as in your bra, underwear, shoes, and/or armpits.

We all know that vinegar and water makes a decent douche, but Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8 tells us vinegar and water also takes dead bugs off your windshield. Dot says you can kill two birds with one stone by straddling the windshield on your old beater while douching.

Maddog Monson in space #91 says the worst drawback to getting in a fight is bloodstained clothing. Bloodstains can be so difficult to remove, sometimes they downright wreck your clothes. If you get in a fight, strip your clothes off as soon as possible afterward, and soak the bloodstained clothing in cold saltwater for a hour or so. Then just throw the soppy-wet clothes into a washing machine set to warm.

Ma Feral-Bailey in space #1 tells us how she removes burnt hair off her curling iron. What you got to do is mix a tablespoon of dish detergent in a huge pot, and bring it to a boil on the stove. Then drop the curling iron barrel-deep in the pot, with the cord hanging out and not plugged into nothing. Boil for five minutes. Shut off the flame and let it all cool down for a half hour or so. Pull out the curling iron and the burnt-on hair wipes right off with a paper towel.

Welcome Wagon Willy says wiping your ass with newspaper causes black, hard to remove skidmarks in your skivvies. Better toilet paper replacements include paper towels, white copy paper, and pieces ripped from a brown paper bag.

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