Dick in space #45 tells us how to have fun with beer farts. Let's say your roommate is laying there passed-out drunk on the couch, farting in front of all your other buddies. All you got to do is flip the shitfaced motherfucker over, yank his pants down, and stick a kazoo halfway into his ass. Guaranteed, it'll have you and your buddies rolling on the floor laughing every time your roomie lets one fly.

Elvis in space #54 says duct tape removes cactus thorns.

Madge in space #56 says you can use iron-on decals to patch your husband's jeans in a hurry.

Harold in space #56 offers this ass-kicking prevention tip: don't never ever let your wife use them iron-on bunnies and butterfly decals to patch a hole in the crotch or the butt of your jeans.

Ma Feral-Bailey in space #1 tells us how she removes piss stains from her hubby Carl's pants and skivvies. Wash the piss-stained items in a separate load from the rest of the laundry, and add a cup of vinegar during the rinse cyle. Works like magic!

Little Timmy Feral says he learned this hair-preservation tip in school: Nair restores hair on bald heads. Timmy swears up and down it's true. You know how Ritalin is actually speed, but in kids it does the opposite and turns 'em into slow-moving zombies? Well, the exact same kind of science is behind the Nair hair restoration system for bald men. Sure, Nair removes leg hair and armpit hair and even pubic hair off of women. But on bald-headed men, it does just the opposite. Timmy warns us all to wear rubber gloves when applying the Nair, so we don't get laughed at for growing hair on our palms.

Dixie Dorque in space #24 says wooden clothes pins make excellent bag clips.

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