Ma Feral-Bailey in space #1 says Alka Seltzer will clean anything.

Edgar the maintenance guy shares his recipe for industrial-strength drain cleaner. Just dump a box of baking soda down the drain, and follow that with a quart of vinegar.

Fatty Daddy in space #88 says to smear Preparation H on your tattoos when they're fresh. It'll keep the color in your new tat and it moisturizes better than Vaseline. Plus, your tattoo will heal even faster than it would with Neosporin.

Virginia Beadle in space #17 tells how to pull a great practical joke with only an empty ketchup bottle and a skein of red yarn. Remove the lid from the empty ketchup bottle and set aside. Take the end sticking out of the middle of the skein and stick it through the lid and tie in a knot so the yarn can't slip back through the lid. Pull the yarn and stick it in the ketchup bottle until the bottom fourth of the bottle looks like it's filled with something red. Cut the yarn, drop the cut end into the bottle, and screw the lid back on. It looks like you're holding a bottle of ketchup, but when you squeeze the bottle, the red yarn flies out and startles the bejabbers out of anyone you point it at.

Dot the crazy cat lady in space #8 keeps her trailer from stinking like catpiss by never, ever turning off the fan, and always keeping a window or three open a crack. But not so much the cats get out.

Andy in space #91 claims that shot-for-shot, Listerine gets you way more hammered than Yukon Jack.

Emergency room personnel at the local hospital want to remind us all that Listerine is poisonous when swallowed.

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