Midge in space #36 shares her foolproof recipe for peeping-tom repellent. All you need is a garden hose long enough to reach through your trailer from the hose bib to the bedroom window, and a sprayer head to screw on the end of the hose. When the peeping tom shows up to your bedroom window, pick up the hose and aim the sprayer head at his face and pull the trigger.

Ramone in space #90 tells us not to use dry straw anywhere near Christmas lights, or it might start a fire like the one that swept through the trailer park on Christmas Eve. Next year when Ramone stuffs his clothes to look like a person and hangs it upside-down from the Christmas lights on his trailer, he'll stuff it with packing peanuts or bubble-wrap or some other nonflammable material.

Little Eddie in space #62 says you won't see bugs crawling around in your mailbox when you've been up for a week and the meth wears off if you spritz a little Raid in there once or twice a day.

Don't throw away any yard appliances that got burned up in the fire! Carl Bailey in space #1 claims there's a movie company in Burbank, California that pays good money for burned-up large appliances. Carl says the movie company uses the burnt appliances for props in movies. So if your trailer got torched in the Christmas Eve fire and all your yard appliances burned up in it, consider yourself lucky because there's a big movie company gonna come to the trailer park before too long and pay you a fistful of cash.

Ma Feral-Bailey in space #1 says if you gots half a brain in your head, you won't listen to a word Carl says about movie companies and large appliances.

Andy in space #91 claims that a urinal cake is just a huge, misshapen mothball. Andy says they're made out of the exact same stuff, and they even taste the same. Andy would like to clarify that he did not taste a used urinal cake, and if you were thinking he did taste a used urinal cake, he would like to know what kind of sicko you think he is. Anyways, it don't matter if you can use mothballs in your toilet and urinal cakes in your closet, 'cause they're the same thing.

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