Dear Editor:

You're not going to believe what I saw at the market up the road!  There was this one lone Mariachi guy standing there in the parking lot, playing the guitar and singing his heart out, and he had this weird-ass looking critter sitting on the ground next to him in a goofy red hat.  I think it might have been a scorched Orangutan.  I don't know what the fuck it was, but it was sitting there holding a cup and begging for money like a hurdy-gurdy monkey.  I ended up giving the scorched Orangutan a five-dollar bill to get it to quit staring at me, 'cause it was giving me the yeebie-jeebies.  Then that weird-looking critter pulled its hat up, stretching the elastic string under its chin as if to say, "Thank you."  I tell you, that was just plain creepy.

Chuck Bodell
Owner of the field next door

Dear Editor:

You guys better give us back that hostage you took on Cinco de Mayo.  We were all gracious enough to show up and entertain you with our Mariachi music, and you went and kidnapped one of our band members.  We don't know why you did that.  Maybe it was because of the dope, maybe it was all the beer.  Anyway, you guys was flying around on some kind of dope like we NEVER seen in OUR barrio before.  You hicks give Jose back or we coming back for him.  We got a wedding gig to do this month.

Juan, Julio, and Jaime
The rest of Jose's Mariachi Band

Dear Editor:

What's up with that Willy guy across the street from me?  He shows up at my trailer at all hours of the day and night. He's always got an armload of something for me.  Usually it's fruit and flowers and candy and even a ring I KNOW he found in a Cracker Jack box.  Does he think these little offerings are his ticket into my trailer and eventually into my heart and my bank account?   Jesus Christ, I hope not.  If he does, I'm gonna have to go out and get me a big roll of barbed wire and surround my trailer with it.  But then the persistent son-of-a-bitch would probably just get a mop and pole-vault over, then offer me the damn mop.

Maudine
Space #37

Dear Editor:

Wow, that Maudine chick across the street from me is HOT!  I got dibs.

Welcome Wagon Willy
Space #38

Dear Editor:

OK, I use Spanish English dictionary and write letter, no?  Here is one crazy barrio, I tell you.   Everybody fly around on dope and that okay because you share.  I fly too.  But play guitar for, how you say chango in English?  Monkey.  I think monkey, maybe gorilla, burnt real bad.  Big monkey sit on ground outside store while I play guitar. He keep all the money.  I go home to Juan, Julio and Jaime now.  I get pay when we play Mariachi. No more big ugly burnt gorilla monkey grunt stink breath in my face.

Jose
The little Mariachi guy who's been hanging with Eddie in space #29

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