Dear Editor:

Listen up, you trailerpark dipshits. We are never renting to your ilk again. We don't know what the fuck you did to our jumping castle, but it came back in worse shape than any we've ever seen. EVER. It didn't even come back in that bad of shape when we rented it out for some fat kid's birthday party that one time. It came back from the fat kid's party all beat to shit, but at least it wasn't poked full of holes and filled with, what is that? Is that vomit? No, it melted the rubber inside the castle and there's way too much of it. It sure does smell like vomit though. Did you assholes rent an elephant too, and if so, did it puke in our jumping castle? We can't get a straight answer when we call the number on the sign out front.

The Jumping Castle Rental Company
In the same parking lot as Boozapalooza

Dear Editor:

Dang, that was soooooo cool, watching that fat old fart burst into flames. I never saw anything that exciting in my life, not even when the old wooden gazebo burned to the ground.

Ronnie Dorque
That rotten little firebug in space #24

Dear Editor:

Dang, that was soooooo cool, watching that fat old fart explode to smithereens. I never seen anything that exciting in my life, not even when Humpy's doghouse blew up.

Lonnie Dorque
That rotten kid in space #24 who's always blowing shit up

Dear Editor:

Wow, what a great idea that was, putting a huge rubber puke-house down by the duckpond for the holiday. That way, we didn't go puking willy-nilly all over the trailer park, and the whole park smelled a lot better the next morning than it would have if we'd all tossed our cookies behind our trailers and in the driveway like we usually do. The next drinking holiday is Labor Day, so let's make sure we rent the rubber puke-house for that whole weekend.

Everyone in the entire trailer park

Dear Editor:

Wow, it sure is hot up here in Heaven. And I never knew Jesus had red scales and horns and cloven hooves, and carried a big pitchfork. And you should hear him laugh! I never imagined Jesus would have a deep, booming MOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAH laugh. Well, my coffee break's over with. Back to breaking huge flaming rocks.

The late Anil Roberts
In for a big surprise

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