Dear Editor:

What a good little worker bee that Timmy Radkin boy is! We hired him to pull the weeds out of our flowerbed, and Timmy not only pulled out every last weed, roots and all, but he even disposed of them for us! How refreshing to know there's a youngster with a work ethic out there.

Pearline and Earline
Space #40

Dear Editor:

I can't believe those twin old ladies didn't know that was marijuana growing in their flowerbed.

Timmy Radkin
Space #68

Dear Editor:

What is it with that Welcome Wagon Willy guy? I don't mean about him being crazy for Maudine, I can't rightly say I blame him for that. I mean all the other craziness -- like making a spectacle out of himself up on the rooftop to his trailer, and peeping in windows. Is this guy going to be spending a lot of time in the new jail trailer or what?

Deputy Marshal Arvin
The new security guy in space #35

Dear Editor:

All I've got to say about that new security guy of ours is, wowie kazowie! After being stalked by that Wildass Weirdo Willy or whatever the fuck he calls himself, it sure is nice to have the attentions of a good-looking, gainfully employed guy finally.  

Maudine Green
Space #37

Dear Editor:

Is there some kind of poison aphrodisiac in the duckpond or what?  I swear, I keep finding the weirdest shit happening in there when I'm walking my dog. Last time it was Dick and some barfly he picked up. This time it was a lezbo wrestling match. It's got to where I don't even want to walk my little dog Cricket along the shore anymore for fear of what I might see sloshing around in the pond.

Virginia Beadle
Space #17

Dear Editor:

You just can't BUY entertainment like this, I tell ya.

Fatty Daddy
Space #88

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