Dear Editor:

Hey, does anyone know where to get any crank? This trailer park has been totally dry lately, and if we don't score soon, both of us will probably end up with bedsores 'cause we can't get up without a li'l hit off the meth pipe.

Eddie and Arliss
Jonesing in space #62



Dear Editor:

Please tell Eddie and Arliss if they don't quit showing up at the jailhouse to visit me, and subsequently asking me if I got any crank yet, I ain't even gonna come to the visitor window here in County no more. Fuck Eddie and Arliss. Everybody knows the visitor phones are recorded, so anything you say can be understood (and probably transcribed too) whether you holler it or whisper it, say it in plain English or Pig Latin. I swear, I'm gonna throttle the next asshole who hunkers down and whispers into the jail visitor phone, "Hey, DJ, did you orescay any ankcray etyay?"  

DJ the dope dealer
Locked up, stirred crazy, and pissed off  



Dear Editor:

Never, ever, ever trust a tweeker to build anything onto your trailer. Not even a simple addition to extend the living room. If you don't believe me, walk by my trailer and see what it looks like after I hired Darrell Feral to build a simple add-on expando. I'm gonna have to build a door on it my ownself, just as soon as mine and Andy's baby mamas find someone besides us to babysit their unhousebroken little rugmonkeys.

Maddog Monson
Holed up in space #91



Dear Editor:

Can I come home now? Is there a door on the trailer? Are the womenfolk gone yet? Jeeeeez, I just went to Buzzards bar for a couple beers, and on my way back home, I noticed something just weren't right with the trailer. It looked like someone had boarded it all up, aluminum siding and all. Lulu was standing outside hollering my name, and that Neanderthal chick Doralee was threatening to eviscerate Maddog. I ducked down behind a car and slithered on my belly all the way up the driveway and about 100 yards up the highway for good measure. Then I got up and ran like hell back to Buzzards bar. I'm just gonna sit here and chill for a while. Someone come get me when the crisis situation is all over with, okay?

Andy
Holed up in Buzzards bar when everyone thinks he's barricaded in #91 with Maddog



Dear Editor:

What the hell is wrong with the men in this trailer park? The least our baby daddies could do is babysit while WE go out and get drunk for a change. It's only fair.

Doralee and Lulu
Space #61

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