Dear Editor:

As you know, me and Dot are a hot item now. We been screwed, blued and tattooed all over this here trailer park. Hell, we damn near gave old Miz Beadle a heart attack and she had to be hauled out in a ambulance when she caught us boinking in the duckpond.

Don't be thinking I'm about to go settling down anytime soon, though. I'm still the creepy pervert the whole trailer park has come to love. I just have to be very, very slick about it. I still dress up in a bustier, fishnets and stilettos to go peeping into trailers. I just sneak out after Dot's asleep, change clothes in the laundry room, and creep back in before she wakes up.

Welcome Wagon Willy
Space #38

Dear Editor:

Has anyone ever mentioned Willy having a sleepwalking problem? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, and he ain't in the trailer. I'm afraid he might sleepwalk out onto the highway and get runned over someday.

Dot the crazy cat lady
Space #8

Dear Editor:

Jeez, I had the weirdest nightmare. I dreamed I woke up and looked out the bedroom window and saw that fucking pervert Willy standing out there wearing women's underwear and lipstick, peeping in the window and jacking off like he used to before he hooked up with that goofy chick in space #8.

Marshal Arvin
Space #37

Dear Editor:

Does our next-door neighbor Willy have a epileptic sister?

We were just fixing to go to bed, and when we went to close the bedroom curtains, there was a ugly, burly woman standing outside wearing nothing but her unmentionables. She looked just like Willy, chest hair and all. She was having some sort of awful seizure, standing there with her eyes rolled back in her head and shaking all over.

We're not kidding. Come over and look at the big lipstick smear she left on the window if you don't believe it.

Pearline and Earline
Space #40

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