Dear Editor:

I won a couple of Olympic gold medals, and I can't even remember entering the Olympics in the first place. Must have been the Senior Olympics or something. It wasn't the Special Olympics, was it?

Something strange happens when you get to be my age. You can remember stuff that happened over half a century ago like it was yesterday, but yesterday fades into oblivion. Take, for example, my wedding to the late Mr. Beadle 70-ish years ago. That day is fresh as a daisy in my mind, but I'd be hard-pressed to tell you what I had for breakfast this morning.

I didn't even know there was an Olympic event for being the oldest person. But there it was, a gold medal and a note Scotch-taped to the sliding-glass door on my trailer, stating I'd won. I certainly hope I didn't win the Senior Olympic event for being the oldest person. That would not be very flattering.

On the other hand, winning the Special Olympic event for being the oldest person doesn't sound very good, either. I just hope it was the regular Olympics, or maybe the minor league to the Olympics if there is one. Is there such a thing as the Senior Special Olympics? Maybe I won that.

Old lady Beadle
Space #17

Dear Editor:

Timmy done me and his ma proud, winning that gold medal in the Trailerpark Olympics. Sure, it was for being the rottenest kid in the whole trailer park, but hey, it's a Olympic gold medal. His ma and me sort of get to share in the glory, since it takes parents like us to raise up a Olympic-class rotten trailerpark kid like Timmy.

I'm gonna frame that gold medal and hang it in the living room, right there over the high-definition TV set with the 60-inch screen.

Pop Feral
Beaming with pride in space #68

Dear Editor:

Who the fuck was that guy in the firesuit at the Trailerpark Olympics? I laughed so hard I peed my pants, and had to go back to my trailer and change. He wasn't serious, was he?

Belinda Jameson
Space #50

Dear Editor:

I'm not one to complain. I love marshmallows, and likewise, I love my bong. I just don't appreciate my bong being stuffed full of marshmallows. Whoever done that owes me a big fat apology.

Fatty Daddy
Sucking bonghits through resin-caked marshmallow sludge in space #88

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