Several residents got hauled out of Tinbox Acres in a paddy wagon last month after a batch of bad meth went through the trailer park. Three residents stripped fistfuls of leaves and left fingernail scratches on the branches when they got pulled out of the trees. One ran into the duckpond stark naked. That one had to be fished out and strapped into a straitjacket before being tossed into the paddy wagon for the ride to the nuthatch.

Police failed to respond to a reported Bigfoot sighting in the trailer park last month. The Bigfoot report was called in by Virginia Beadle, the addlepated old lady what lives over in space #17. When asked why not even one patrol unit responded, the police dispatcher said, "The last fifteen times an officer responded to a Bigfoot sighting in Tinbox Acres, Bigfoot turned out to be either the maintenance guy all sweaty and dirty with leaves and grass in his hair from mowing the lawn across the street from the Beadle residence, or it was some guy with a last name of Feral in space #54." It should be noted that the maintenance guy has a hairy back and a wild Neanderthal hairdo, and Pop Feral in space #54 is required by law to write "Sasquatch" on the 'Ethnicity' line on government forms.

Thursday night's Warrant Roundup reduced the population of the trailer park by half. One of those rounded up is DJ the dope dealer in space #41. So you're just going to have to go someplace else for your dope, or do without until DJ is released on bail. We hear tell Speedy over in Buzzards Trailertopia gets the shit he sells from the same place DJ does.

A suspected terrorist was sighted in the park by Virginia Beadle and reported to police last month. According to the police report, Miz Beadle described the suspected terrorist as "a hairy brute in a turban just oozing evil out of every pore in his body." This time, the terrorist turned out to be Edgar the maintenance guy wearing one of those baseball hats with the flaps on the sides to keep the sun out of his face and off his neck while he worked. The last two times it was Pop Feral in space #54, and the time before that it was Edgar again.

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