Clarence in space #62 got arrested on Christmas Eve after leading the police on a high-speed chase that ended at the duckpond. Actually, it ended IN the duckpond. Clarence got charged with 63 different crimes including, but not limited to, leading the cops on a high speed pursuit, damaging cop cars, drunk driving, reckless endangerment, water pollution, and driving on a license that's been expired for more than 30 years.

Reports of a "huge friggin' fireball that went ka-BANG! and dripped flaming embers out of the sky all over the trailer park" brought the cops to Tinbox Acres at around 4:00 a.m. a couple of Saturdays ago. Police found no fireball, but they did find a gaggle of Tinbox Acres residents with that deer-in-the-headlights look on their faces, standing in the middle of the street in the middle of the night in their pajamas. Despite the dispatch of a cop chopper, no flaming debris, smoke, burnt stuff, nor screaming and running people was found anywheres in the vicinity. The incident was officially recorded as a "Act of God."

Andy the security guy's place got broke into last month while he was at the bar in Buzzards Trailertopia. Them indestructible titanium-alloy security bars Andy bolted over all the doors and windows didn't repel the burglar(s) a bit. They just cut a sliding-glass-door-size hole in the side of his trailer with a pair of wiresnips. Everything Andy owned, including his webcam surveillance system which could easily have identified the perpetrator(s), was hauled out through the hole cut in the trailer. Police found a dull, ragged, used-up pair of wiresnips on the ground outside the hole, right there in the pile of cut-up aluminum siding. Police have no suspects. Andy suspects everyone at Buzzards Trailertopia.

Police responding to a "Creature from the Black Lagoon" emerging from the duckpond found Andy down at the duckpond instead, lying in the weeds wearing face paint and desert camouflage. It seems Andy went a little goofy when his trailer got broke into, and now he's having some kind of Gulf War flashbacks. Virginia Beadle saw him skulking around the duckpond and thought he was the Creature from the Black Lagoon and called 911. After interviewing Andy, police officers released him back into the weeds.

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