A giant flaming monster-truck tire smashed the front of Anil Roberts' trailer to smithereens last month. The resulting fire attracted a whole fleet of fire trucks and cop cars. That tire landed right square in the middle of Anil's living room, decimating his TV set. It should be noted that The 700 Club was on TV when the flaming tire landed on it. Anil sat there and watched in shock and disbelief as Pat Robertson burned to the ground without even flinching. Hell, Pat didn't even break a sweat. Convinced Pat Robertson was possessed by demons, Anil went batshit and had to be strapped down and hauled away.

Police responding to a report of Noise Pollution found Rudy Bonaparte, the new resident in space #19 refurbishing his newly purchased fixer-upper trailer. Rudy was working on the side that faces old lady Beadle's place. No arrests were made.  Police officers escorted old lady Beadle into her trailer and assisted her in unscrewing the lid from her bottle of tranks, at which time she ate a few of them. Within a half hour, she quit bitching about that ugly old eyesore in space #19 finally getting a facelift, and fell asleep on the couch.

The day after responding to the Noise Pollution report, the cops were back in space #19. This time it was regarding Rudy's ass.  He'd just started sawing lumber when something bit Rudy on the right buttcheek so hard, it caused his legs to buckle out from under him.   He got bit really hard a bunch more times when he was on the ground, too. Buddy in space #15 called the cops 'cause Rudy was writhing in the dirt outside his trailer and screaming like Marcia Brady. Buddy told 911 he thought a crime was in progress, even though he didn't eyeball no criminals. The cops photographed the clusters of red welts on Rudy's buttcheeks and logged the film into evidence. No arrests were made.

HOME